LIFE SUCKS

biggest loser ever on earth

Location: not brave to say

I am the most worthless human ever born. People fail or success in some part of their life but I am always a failure in life. I was never BRAVE to face truth of life but I am expert in posing myself very confident and as if I am like all others. But I know I am abnormal. More I show myself normal more my weakness is open. There is nobody in world who is around me and have not laugh me.
(I am not handicap , not blind , not other physical disability but I am way more worthless than anybody else.)

AT schooling time throughout I was below average in studies. I was always a backbencher in my class at school time and mostly in corner. It’s because mostly I feel I am safe there and secure at place , and teachers won’t ask me anything. I was always late in my regular studies, most of syllabus i studied near the exam time. I always like to keep myself to be in a group of week and poor students in class , it’s because I feel I am are secure in such guys.
In my studies , i mostly studied from note prepared by others.. and my first target is always to pass.. never to get high percentage
I always wanted to talk with fellow gals in class , but u have never courage to do that.
While at home , i mostly fooled parents by showing as if I am so busy in studies but the truth is when I am studying on table , my mind is never in books , I was thinking something else or playing with pen or something like that.
I was always interested in sexual thoughts since very class 5 or 6 (at age 9 or 10 years old).

AT COLLEGE , I was bald, very chubby and looks much older than my age which you tried to hide by showing as if you are so experienced guy , but the fact u have no experience about anything.
My only focused is hiding my weakness , for short period of time , I was bit successful in that act , but after some times my all weakness are open and then few more added to it.
I make very few friends at college ,but I show as if all are my very good friends and I am are very popular in my friends.
I try to stay away from most of events of college but I always try that other people didn’t recognize this fact. i try to show my as rich and careless person so as to hide my weakness. I am very weak inside , I cry very easily but I don’t want it to be seen by anyone. But it has always happened that I cried which other people in my college handle easily. I have no personality at all.
I am mostly active in my imaginations only and never wanted to face real life. I very well know my weakness and try my best to cover them but failed always. I try to reside in some group of weak students , its coz i feel comfortable in them and they won’t make fun of me. I very well know , I am fun or pity object for people around me.
At graduate, I loved a girl that is my class mate and she also knows it but I could never be so brave to say her my feelings. I was rejected by whole class and nobody talks with me because of my acting of over confidence. My so called girlfriend ( the girl I love secretly) also commented on “I am only hero in world” I felt badly but she was not wrong. But it was last days of college so it was over.
(Now that girl is married to very successful doctor and has two beautiful kids. I see that from her Facebook profile. Its my wish I could tell her that I loved her for 3 years during our college days. But I know I can never be so brave)

At post graduate level I learned lesson from previous experience. I keep myself 1000s miles away from girls of the class. During 3 years studying in PG I don’t even know the most girls name in my classroom of the college. I was so scared to friendship with any female while other students have good friendship with girls in college. I was like a strange creature there but I always keep quiet and act normal. I go to college as less as I can. Only when it is too important to go college. I show them as if I am a very businessman and from big business family.
I always wanted to get any help from my friends , just by showing them some greed or showing them as they get benefited in future if they help me , its because I know , this is only way to get their help. I can never ask to get help directly.
For most of problems which are unsolvable, i always think to die and problem is solved. I always believe that suicide is one last solution for my all problems, but i have never courage to do that.


AFTER COLLEGE I didn’t get job anywhere , in fact i never applied too willing , because i have never courage to face any interview.
First few years after college studies, I was believing that i still have enough time , later when I know , my time is gone now , i only blame other factors for my failure in life. After 4 or 5 years , i mostly like to live inside your room which you like to keep it closed inside most of time in day.
My head is very bald now, and i get very chubby, I am about 5 feet 6 inchs (167 cms) and 113 kg in weight. I looks 20 years elder than my age. I know, i have no way of success now. I know nobody will ever help me because I don’t know how to beg for help from others.
I am only fooling other people about your job and life , in my old college friends I say I am married and have baby too , just to show them that I am successful in life but fact is that you have never touched any women in your life by letting her know only touched some female I crowded places like mall showing as if its just because of overcrowd . It’s because no women will ever be interested in a bullshit man like me. I am man just because I am a male.

In your age of 30 , I are mostly look for ladies of 50 and above because I know very well no young woman would like me. Most of time, I chat over internet with fake names and fake personalities. you mostly use other guys pictures to talk with gals. I use their other man web cam recordings and tell ladies that its me. I internet I talked and seen over 10000 woman and I feel I am very smart in doing that. While talking those 10000 ladies not a single woman I told who I am because I never have courage to do so and I know it will instant NO if will say my real.

I am very broken and scared person, have not dare left in you to fight on any issue. Only my mom and brother supported in a lot as I show to them i are so much capable in life. i have been using sleeping pills for sleeping at night since college time. i do a lot of masturbation since school time. In internet chat rooms I am one of most bitter guy ever seen in chat , as said by most other chatters.

What do you want to say about me … (please let me know ). I know the word which came in your mind after reading my life . HATE