She and I liked each other for some time. I met her early last year and became great friends. I then began to realize that I liked her a lot. I didn't know it then, but she liked me too.
As time passed we began to get closer and we got to the point where we talked all night over the phone, texted 24/7 and hung out every possible moment. She told me she liked me and I told her the same and we practically became boyfriend/girlfriend.... we just didn't label it.
Things seemed to be going great; we held hands a lot, hugged for a long time on multiple occasions, i kissed her on the cheeck a few times, we had nicknames for one another (Handsome One and Gorgeous One).... we even came to the conclusion that we loved each other. I was her first love and she is mine.
However, one morning she asked me to come to her house. She there told me that us being close together didn't feel right. I was heartbroken (and still am). This all happened August of last year.
Since then we haven't been able to talk much... my reason being that I fear anything I say will be a bother to her.
I sent her a text about three months ago apologizing for anything that I had done to her, for being a jerk and for being selfish in that I want to be her boyfriend and not just her friend.... I still love her and told her that, and i also said that I can't stand being withou her. I am wiling to change and I want that friendship we once had back.
She only responded to that with the following text: "I've been thinking a lot about what you said. And I would like to have that friendship back again too, but i'm going to need more time."
Like I said, three months have passed and I haven't heard a word from her since that day. I never see her, but she is constantly on my mind. I do, however, have a crazy imagination. I believe that she has found some other guy and he is making her happy... She has completely forgotten about me and never wants to talk to me again. It may just be my imagination, but looking through her dance pictures on facebook (sorry i promise i'm not a creeper) she seemed to really enjoy her sweethearts dance date.... They are holding hands in those pictures and so many people comment on how they are cute together (she even "liked" those comments). That kills me inside and even though everyone in her group took pictures holding hands with their dates, it feels different seeing her hold his.
I feel hopeless every day and my emotions are very weak. I miss her so much and want to always be by her side. But that seems like it will never happen again.
I doubt she ever liked me or "loved" me. I love her so much and I cannot find anyone else that even remotely compares to her. She is the most beautiful girl in the world to me and I want to get her back. I can't live like this. I can't live without her being a part of my life.
I know this is long, but I really am destroyed by this constant feeling of being alone. I never planned to fall in love with a girl this early in my life.... Nor did I ever think I could get a beautiful girl like her to like me. It's too hard on me to move on.... and I don't want to. Life sucks. | |
Maybe you should Re-evaluate your connection with her - it seems as if the feelings you have for her may not be mutual. This is the case in many relationships that change and end. I've had the opportunity to be with many women in my life, and I believe now more than ever, "When there's a will, there's a way." Someone who truly loves you will find a way to show that to you and make themselves present in your life at any cost. Unfortunately, it seems she has chosen to be absent from yours and you must accept her decision and move on. The fact that you feel pain is good, embrace that, for it is a real and raw feeling that people are empty of nowadays - but take that feeling and move forward in a positive way. Work on yourself. I understand your pain, brother, but I swear to you that better things are around the corner for you if you focus on yourself right now.
Anyways, I appreciate your comment. I really do. I don't know how well I'll do from now on... I don't feel like an attractive guy (other than when I was with her) so it will take a really long time for me to find a girl that will love me again.
I am looking forward to those "better things around the corner".
So you guys were playing on your comPUtars playing the dragons in the dungeon games for online life like warmakers and questmagicknightmen.com and the thing is, your cartoon player that you made was a big ass horse riding sword and magic wizard, like 7 feet tall and when typing out stuff between you and her, you came off as reasonably intelligent..maybe even a little witty...enough so she would run around with you in a pretend world casting magic and killing strange animals that don't exist like eagle lions that breath ice flames and shit like that...
So...when you finally actually met up in real life and she saw that your were a pot bellied pasty moon pie faced runt with bad bacne that you pick off and chew on, well, then she just wanted to be "friends". See where I'm going here? There's basic attraction needs that have to be met before a gal will let you flick her bean. You have to smell like something other than the faint aroma of urine. Also, that honking forehead zit that makes you look like a fucking rhinocerihorse (fake animal from knightslayers of the dragon clan.com) is not endearing. Plus, your "have you hugged a mage today?" t-shirt with chef boyardee mini ravioli stains on it will not like lead to any humping.
She saw the real you, and you became "ugly troll man" instead of handsome one...and she really WAS gorgeous one and went out and found handsome one for real, and now her vertical smile gets a hot beef injection just about daily. Any wonder she "needs more time"?
You got no chance here, Dragon Bane Magic Slayer. The best idea for you? Forget about her and go to save-u-mart and buy one of the cheapie large seeded watermelons and then cut a hole in it about the size of a dime and then fuck that, and pretend it's your "never was your girlfriend"'s online game playing cartoon.
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