First off, I just wanna say that my life isn't nearly as bad as other people's is. I know that. I just needed to get out of my head for a while, if you know what I mean. So here we go.
My main problem with life isn't even life. It's people. I fucking hate the people around me. Not everyone. There are a few exceptions of course. But I fucking hate people. Everywhere I look I see self-obsessed douchebags who would rather kick you than help you up off the ground. Part of this stems from my own personality, my own ways of interacting with people. I am, in a few words, "nice". Everyone around me is a dick and I think to be nice and I still get no fucking credit for it. People even tell me that I'm "too nice". I agree one hundred fucking percent. Why don't I tell a great little story about what being nice gets me?
There is this kid that I know, that I became really close with over my freshman year of high school. Let's call him "David". David and I were close. I also became close with a girl. Let's call her "Susie". I really liked Susie, maybe even loved her. We flirted every day, we talked a lot, and I thought she liked me too. I told my friend David about these feelings. He goes and asks out Susie. So, like a fucking nice guy, I tell him it's fine. He doesn't even bother to fucking let me know and I tell him it's fine. Now David and I have our own little group of friends, and don't ask me how but I can start to see that maybe David, my close friend, doesn't like me too much. I can tell by the look in his eyes when he sees me, by the sound of his voice when he speaks. But I ignore this. And then David starts to alienate my friends away from me, our little god damned group that became my only friends over the course of time. Ever leave some friends and wonder what one of them is saying about you while your not there? That's how I felt with David. Now David starts to be the guy who sets up parties, who organizes stuff to do. He conveniently forgets to notify me about these events. Ocasionally my other friends let me know, but when I show up, I can see the look in David's eyes. He's disappointed that I found out. The thing is that many times he's been given the 'slip' but I always call and let him know when shit is happening. Why? Cause he's my buddy. Yeah, thanks for returning the favor you jackass. Even when David is dating Susie, I get the feeling she likes me. She goes out of her way to spend time with me, does not talk to David much. Now I can't see her much, cause fucking David will never let me know when shit is happening. Well fuck David. In fact, fuck people. David opened my eyes to how people are. Everyone is a selfish, hyprocritical, miserable ball of shit that is just waiting to ruin your day. No one understands the value of kindness. I did, once. But it is not worth it to show kindness to those that will not return the favor. It is pointless. You will give and give and give, you will give your love, your kindness, your happiness, and your self, and these black holes of misery called people will take it all and give nothing back. It's pointless. I used to look at people and ask my self how I could help them. Now I see them and I am filled with loathing. If there is one piece of advice I can give, don't trust people. Just don't. They will always betray you. If they didn't today than they will tomorrow. Your best friend for years and years will kick you to the ground and tear you apart if it suited him. This world will never learn the value of kindness, the great worth of compassion. I'm done. There is no hope left for this pathetic human race. | |
rape that bitch
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