LIFE SUCKS

sooo Loney, and Depressed at 31 already WTF....

My sons father met when i was 19 stayed until 24 i figured i was young what the heck he stayed out late nights did drugs etc never helped with the baby Finally i left move away found a fantasic Job and was just loving life happy.. Then I got Diagnoses with this dumb ass Rhematoid arthritis and health started to go down from there manage to start dating a nice man so i thought married him then he became abusive it took 4 years but i finally left him and my nice job and plush apartment and moved away yet again.. Stayed to myself lost a ton of weight but just stayed in this dull faze.

I gave up on love then out of no where about A YR later I met this guy 2 years things were pretty good with us he didn't work and I should of realized then things would get bad but i hung in there made the relationship fun and didn't ask him for anything. I excepted the fact that he didn't have Shit as long as he kept me happy I stop caring he dealt with my RA well or so I thought out of No where he comes home with some woman and gets his stuff he had officers come and everything and took all kinds of things that was not his. So he left me for a chick he met online very young and i was shocked for someone who didn't have shit. Long and behold the day he left he started working a job.. NEVER paid a bill here never. but now all of a sudden it was easy to find a job WTF anyway good endn the chick was just using him to get away and left him 2 months later i was sooo glad.. He tried to come back but nope.. i missed tons of work lost allot of weight then started gaining tons and now i'm bigger than i've ever been. he told me he left me because of my weight and that he didn't think he could live a long happy life with me because i'm always sick with RA. So why come back.
So once again single for over a year and this is how i kno i have terrible luck got a call out of no where from a guy i hadn't seen in 14 years i use to like him then but my best friend liked him. So when he called me I had been causally dating someone nothing serious drinks etc. So i told him i was dating someone he was like oh i'm sure u will forget about him soon I said oh no dont do that ur far away and i'm not into it. Well of course it was from there we talk 24/7 never missing a call or text either of us he came to visit asked me to marry him and start a life have more kids. I told him i never had more kids because i'm afraid to be a single mother again he promised he would be with me thru 2 more kids lol i finally said ok what the heck my son is almost 11 i stayed optimistic and was so happy and fell so in love with him well he left the day before my best friends funeral for a fam emergency hadnt really heard from him since its been over a week now he just up and gone no calls text explanation, of all people i'm shocked because i shared all the heart ache etc from my past and he told me he wouldnt ever do that to me after all these years it was meant to be i called and text for about 3 days no answer then i waited two days emailed his mom and nothing waited another day and texted him one last time and nothing. I'm just lost i just sit in my room and watch lifetime all day and try to work as much as possible. after all the relationships i tried drinking but it doesnt last but one or two days it's just not me so i turn to food and just sitting in my room crying myself to sleep.. yeah doesn't such that bad compared but i'm Cute a really nice woman cool and laid back like to have fun and not put feelings and stuff in the way i dont even argue dont have time for it but i guess men dont give a shit.. I just needed to vent