Hi, although I realise there are more serious problems in here, I'd really like to share my story with someone...
I'm 17 years old, overweight, useless. I have always been my parents toy, studying, studying, studying, just to please them... I never had friends, never went out, never even approached a girl... My only "pleasure" was TV, or pc games...
2,5 years ago, I realised all that. I realised how empty I am. I realised the gap between me and normal people. I was empty, just a shell, a robot, while they were hot, slim, smart, fun, stylish, full of energy, emotions, experiences, dreams. I was amazed by it, I tried to get friends, go out, but it was all too overwhelming. I only ended up ridiculing myself... Watching them made me hate myself, hate my family, my relatives, it changed my entire view of the world. Then I realised that I could never have friends, I could never have a girlfriend, I could never be normal... That broke me down...
So, I fucked myself up watching anime, playing video games, wathcing TV Series, even porn, just to escape this reality. Except I only made things worse. I got 60 pounds fatter, completely ruined my mind and distanced myself from reality. Right now I'm two months away from my final exams and while everyone will be getting in college, I'll be stuck here. No hope, no dreams, depressed, fucked up, suicidal... Broke, unemployed, just a leech to my parents...
I don't know what to do, I keep numbing myself with all kinds of fictional media: TV, magazines, TV series, movies, anything to not think, but the "end" is near, and I'm hopeless... | |
shrug off the cruel people. they are worthless. take care of yourself. u are not hopeless.
Look kid, if you want to be a shlub be a shlub be happy with who you are. I'm a happy shlub I stopped worrying about all my negatives a long time ago, and you'll find that all those "beautiful people" have just as many issues as you think you have.
About weight loss, I recommend soups if you WANT to. Why soups? They satisfy you and you don't have to figure out your meal and every restaurant has them. Two soups a day and a normal meal you'll lose weight lickety split.
I made a commitment to myself in the bowels of being a game "addict", I will not pass on a real life even to play a game, if there is an event or a friend invites me out, go do that instead. It probably saved me and made me a better person, try and make that kind of commitment to yourself instead of hating yourself for being you.
On the other hand....well...sorry, there is no other hand. You're just the above.
The good news is that you don't have to commit suicide because you'll be dead in just a couple years from the massive chunk of meat product stick that will become lodged in your main heart blood vessel and then you'll have a big gacker but it won't kill you because it's not your time for at least one more week so then Jesus will make you go back into your pig shell for that amount of time until a nurse takes pity on you and injects you with bleach.
I hate you, and so does the devil, and god too...so you're pretty much shit out of luck.
God uses the weak, the powerless, the hurt, the poor, and the lonely in great ways. Heres a illustration: A potter will take a helpless, lifeless lump of clay and then knead it and squeeze it until it's soft and pliable. And then when he gets it just right, he takes that piece of clay and he does something called throwing, where he places the clay on a spinning table.
As that clay is placed upon that turning wheel, the potter's hands then begin to pressure the clay and work it until he makes something beautiful out of that old ugly piece of clay.
Jesus knows your pain, because he went through all the different pains possible when he was tortured and then nailed to a cross. He layed down his life for me and you, so that we can have eternal life in heaven. All we have to do is accept him as our lord and savior and ask for forgiveness for our sin. Jesus loves you with love that cant be compared, he loves you so much that he died for you. He can change you. He changes people every single day. You can say that one of his job descriptions is "Life Changer". He knows your trouble, he cares for you, and he wants you to know him. He will comfort us when there seems to be no comfort available. He is our friend when everyone else seems to not care, he provides for us when we are without, and he gives us strength when we are weak. He washes away all our sin when we have lived sinfilled lives. He is offering the gift of everlasting life in heaven free of charge, its your choice whether you accept his offer.
Regards and peace be with you.
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