I'm 17, prehaps getting kick out next year, ever since I was 12 and even now I know I won't live for very long. My father is a self centered racist who used to be rich but now he's not. He takes his shit out on me and makes me feel like shit each day. He gambles and used up all the money in the family in attempts to get rich fast. Even though he is educated he looks down on everyone and got a temper issue.. My mother is a very loyal woman. More like my father's tool. I have 2 younger brothers and no relatives on this side of the planet. Games are my only joy, but lately they seem meaningless to me. I used to be pretty socialable but recently I haven't talk to anyone. I have obtained depression, anxiety, raynaud and I get nightmares every night. I left my past girlfriends as I felt they deserve better, I can't love somebody if I don't even love myself. My anger isn't even there anymore, it just turns into self hatred. I have tried suicide a few times but I can't.. I want to live but.. Well whatever. To sum in up, I'm loyally failing classes, lost my hobbies, not very socialable, I got mental problems, I don't have a job, I don't have love, I'm lonely and would die for anyone, I have father issues and I'm just waiting for someone to murder me. I have 30 cents in my bank.. Did your parents ever told you to put your money in the bank? Well don't fucking do it, they'll just take it. What I need is just a little acknowledgment from my creators so I don't feel like a failed imperfect ugly hateful dead specimen. Somebody kill me, I'll give you all I have.. | |
the weak die out and the strong survive. You want to live? Give a little bit more effort even if it hurts like hell, cuz let's face it if you don't then what's the point in living just rest in peace.
That sentence you just typed is the reason why Americans are known worldwide to be full of shit.
I'm sorry but it's true
Go to somalia or any poor african country and tell that to a 10 year-old who is forced to carry a gun to protect himself and let him kill you and give him all you got so he cando something with his life.
At least that way your death will be more meaningful than the next 60 years of your life.
You'll be giving a person born in REAL hell a rebirth, a second chance. Nothing is more charitable or noble than giving your life for a greater cause.
God uses the weak, the powerless, the hurt, the poor, and the lonely in GREAT ways. Heres a illustration: A potter will take a helpless, lifeless lump of clay and then knead it and squeeze it until it's soft and pliable. And then when he gets it just right, he takes that piece of clay and he does something called throwing, where he places the clay on a spinning table.
As that clay is placed upon that turning wheel, the potter's hands then begin to pressure the clay and work it until he makes something beautiful out of that old ugly piece of clay.
God sometimes uses suffering to mold us, to make us turn to him, to convict us of sin, he has his reasons. Also understand that we live in a sinful broken world, our hope shouldn't be in this world but in Jesus and heaven. Without Jesus we will never be satisfied in this life. Life on earth compared to eternity is like the blink of an eye.
God is the true master craftsman. He is a potter who is making something beautiful out of every life. He will take the old ugly mistakes, hardships and sins and make you into something completely new!
When you truly know God, you can live victoriously! So whatever the ugliness is in your life, be assured that through the blood of Christ, God molds you and makes you into something beautiful! Many people can testify to how God has changed them. Ive never heard of anyone regretting putting their faith in jesus.
Are you saved? God can turn the worst of situations into good! Joeseph was left for dead and put into slavery by his brothers, he was abandonded, afraid, probably thought his life was over. But he trusted God, he then eventually became second in command of Egypt. Without looking into the future it can be hard to be optimistic. If you put your faith with jesus he wont abandon you, he will love you and give you a new life. All you have to do is accept jesus as your lord and savior and ask for forgiveness of your sin, he will wash away all your sin.
Regards
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