Ever since I got into elementary school, I was always to told not to talk to any other kids unless it was necessary so I wouldn't get into trouble (or to be more precise, get into gangs). As a result of that, I remember most of the days in school I spoke as few as only 2-3 sentences. I was so quiet that I got bullied so many times in middle school. In time, I became an extremely shy person, I even panicked and got nervous when I talked to my classmate during my freshman year in college. I had no close friends nor dated any girls and I stayed home with my computer whenever I wasn't at school. As of now every so often, I see photos of my friends hanging out during the weekends that makes me feel like a nobody. As a bonus, my ugly face also makes me even more depress which is why I don't like to take pictures of myself.
There's only a few more courses left in my major to take yet I feel like I am a lot worse that my classmates. Recently I have been getting C's and D's in my grade but I'm too scared to tell my family. They keep asking me when I will graduate, find a high paying job, buy them a house, and get out of poverty, but I'm not even sure if my stupid brain can help me get that certificate.
Sometime I would imagine myself hugging my friends and they would comfort me, but I don't want them to think of me as a psycho because I am still sane. However, I have a feeling I will break down some day. | |
You are sane. You are normal. You are young and educated. Join the "gang". I mean the gang of people just like you who are just starting their independent life and are building skills and relationships. It's work. It's risk. You are just like everyone else. And you will do fine.
Our physical, mental, and emotional well being depends on touch. Touch provides the sensory input that we crave and assists the brain in making sense of the world around us....Touch can make people feel more optimistic and positive and less cynical. A positive, trusting, attitude towards others can reduce tension in our daily lives. Living without human contact, makes us feel lonely and depressed.
So it's no surprise that you feel the way you do!
You're brain is in need of human contact- humans are social, for example, why is it so awkward to sit alone and eat in a crowded room? Our natural response would be to sit and eat with other people...
You're only human kid, and it's why you feel the way you feel!
Go out and make some friends. You should know by now who are the "good guys/gals" and who are the bad...
Get off the computer, go outside, and be social. Join some college activities, strike up a conversation with someone, attend social events, and eventually, you'll make friends-
If you put forth zero effort- you're gonna continue to be lonely, and nothing will change...
Good luck-
Cursed
you should not worry what others think of your physical appearence, I can clearly say that I'm not attractive, but get alot of girls to do as i want. The key is confidence, you need to be confident from within. Other peoples opinions should not matter. As for your studies, it helps to know how you cope in learning, for me it was cramming every detail the night before, those little answere chits help, and not to forget the little picture diagrams. What I remeber in studying, is that I remeber alot when I put the entire process (say photosynthetic pathways) in diagram form, pictures helped alot in my final year. Studying an hour a day might sound like a bitch, but it helped me complete my masters. Please understand, this is just my advice, I am not saying this will work for you, but just try it, there is no harm in that now is there =). good luck!! as for everyone elses worries, first make sure that you are happy and content, only you can change who you are, you should learn to relax, but not too much.. everything should be done in moderation, not in their extremes.. hope this helps..
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