LIFE SUCKS

terrorized and depressed and lonely

I was born to a mother who never wanted kids and to a father who only wanted boys. Great start. My parents beat me, my brothers and even the dog with wood spoons and belts for the most frivolous reasons. I remember times I hid in the doghouse with the dog and times as a very little girl that I used to pray to god that my real family would come get me because I just couldn't believe this was my family. I basically raised my brothers as my father worked 2 full time jobs because my mother was a lazy pos. And my mother wouldn't take care of them because she never wanted kids.
I was terribly in love with a boy in high school who lied to me about everything including his drug use, was violent with m cheated on me with a couple women, including a friend and then stalked me for years. He left dead animals on my care losened the lug nuts on the wheels of my car etc.
Then after highschool i dated a guy who seemed to have it together, good job, nice car, bought a house in his early 20s. To escape my family i moved in with him.he complained that i didnt make enough money soo i got a second job, then he complained that i wasnt home enough.he then atarted sleeping with one of my friends while i was at work.
I got pregnant and married the father at 24. He lied about everything. Although we made nearly 100k between us there were times that utilities were shut off due to his spending.he cheated on me numerous times. I was his second wife and he has already divorced wife number 3. He has 4 kids with the three of us, only one with me. He terrorized my daughter until a year and a half ago when she no longer wanted to see him. As a little girl of 6 she knew how to read nutrition labels becausehhe always told her she was fat, told her horrific lies about me, to call me even and his current wife mom. He made up crazy lies and called child services on me annually for 3 years in a row. He hacked all three ex wives computers and phones constantly.
Now I am on to my current situation... due to how horrific my ex was I was not in a hurry to get married again. A year ago, I was with my (now husband) for 7 years, we had 2 kids together and I was pregnant with our third (my fourth). We had a dated set to get married, 11/11/11. I was working full time, going to college full time in the evenings, raising three kids, pregnant, and trying to buy my first home. I had a dream all my life to buy a home, I as ecstatic when I was finally able to at 34. I was on top of the world, my life was finally coming together. Until I found out he had gotten another cell phone, set us new accounts on the internet and was cheating on me in my new home, just days, yes days, after we moved into it. He screwed her on my bathroom floor and in my bed
I caught him on 5/21/11. Then he said it was over and wanted his family, after all, I was 7 months pregnant. Then on 6/11/11 I found out it was still happening. He was sleeping with her without protection and could have given our unborn baby a disease. Like an idiot I took him back again and then on 7/11/11 she showed up at my house and that is when I found out how bad the deceit was with the phones and other ways he snuck around with her. I had the baby 20 days later.