LIFE SUCKS

Lonely

Hello all. I am a male in my late 50's I am told that I am good looking and that I look like I am in my late 40's and at 5'11" tall I know that women find me attractive. My wife died some 13 years ago and then I met a woman who had a young son. I never knew anyone had so much love for someone as my wife did love me but didnt really show it so I wasn’t used to this you see. I have been with this woman as my girlfriend, never lived together, for over 12 years and NYE 2011 she decided to leave me and said that I was the most caring person that she had ever met and I know that she did have a very hard life with an abusive drunken father and ex partner. I was scared of her love and I kept it at a distance and for the past year I didn’t have any sexual contact with her and I know it hurt her but now my life is empty. My son left home late last year and my daughter left many years ago. I fell out with a long standing male friend and that wasn’t my fault as he tried to make it up with me, non sexual you understand.

I cannot say that I loved this woman more than my wife but it has to be very close even though my marriage wasn’t great until the end when I turned things around but at the beginning of our 25 years marriage all was well and then it didn’t go too good and then thats when I turned it around so everything was really great and then she died suddenly . But I miss this woman sooo much and I now know that I deeply love her and would do anything for her now except get married again as I feel that I have done my bit but what else is there in life for me know? I miss her sooo much and I know that she has met someone else so this has to be a warning to others. Don’t take things for granted but what can I do now? I will never find someone who loved me, and still does, so much and the affection that she gave me and all of the support and love over the years and I blew it!

I don’t know what I am going to do without her!

I am VERY sad to the point I don’t see what life has ahead for me anymore!

Ray