I am a soon to be 22 year old male. I am in many ways blessed, I grew up in a nice country with a nice family and even with nice friends with a pretty good childhood. In my life I can count three really great friends with which I have had an amazing time with and some lesser friends. But for the last four years I have been alone with no friends and struggling to find my place in the world.
I cant think of any group that I fit in with, I have no interests or hobbies deep enough to create a connection and discussion with another person. I would love to be part of a niche group, like otakus, gaming nerds, anime lovers or something along those lines. But I have absolutely nothing that hold my interest in such a way. I am far from apathetic, but I might as well be. I am not even labeled as a criminal, im just a lonely loser without a job living with his parents, with no ambition, dreams or goals and nothing to drive me. I am soon 22 but because of the way I am, my relatives and family treat me like im a child, which I in many ways are, but also in many ways not.
Most of the time I'm not really sad, I've gotten used to the fact that im alone and I have things to entertain me, but as soon as i hit a dry spell on media entertainment I get sad and start to think of the useless life I have, today was one of them even though its gone now. In the summer I will be done with my late graduation and the pressure of finding a job or education will loom over me once more and will most certainly turn my life into anxiety.
I do believe though that the nice moments in life still make it worthwhile, and I have so much things that I wanna do. I wanna sing karaoke, I wanna dance, I wanna go to the wilderness, I wanna talk and laugh and travel and be part of a group of great friends. But the way things are makes it so difficult.
Its strange, my father is very much like me, with no interests or hobbys and very quiet and lonely, and his mother was the same too.
If only life were an anime, that would be great. There they have deep friendships and even the quiet man has his place. When you are caught up in a dangerous world and have to rely on one another, deep bonds are created without the need for mutual interests like the ones our world demand.
This is probably too long for most people to read, but I felt they couldn't be left out, I still have much on my mind, but I cant go on forever. This will just be another post on a forum and I will go on as I always have with my life without having changed a thing.
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i think you are being too hard on yourself and are very negative. you say you have no interests to connect with people and then a few sentences later talk about how you wanna travel, dance, sing karaoke! that is a connection right there. and what is stopping you? you are healthy and young. you will never get these days back again. go out and enjoy yourself. join a free dancing class. go to karaoke bars and sing!!! find others who have a love of travel and want to travel the same places that you do. realize that you are not alone. lots of ppl feel the same way and don't let your pessimism stop you. you have to try and do stuff instead of mopping around wishing and wanting to do stuff. live without regrets and only way you can do that is by doing the stuff you want to do! so get out there! good luck.
I think of myself as a fairly sucessful individual. I'm almost done with my b.a in engineering. Girls find me attractive, and a i'm an active fairly athletic person.
My communication skills are however poor because of the fact of what you were saying about your hobbies. I have hobbies but they are weird that i bet nobody else does them so I can't connect with people that way. The run of the mill hobbies like video games, new age music (I LOVE MUSIC but old and weird shit that no one else likes). So therefore I have nothing to talk about and nothing to do when i'm around other people. I thrive more in group setting because I take the role as the "funny guy" and just make stupid comment and
My other problem is a care too much about what other people think. I always want people to like me, so that’s why I get anxiety when I’m around people: all I can think about is how the other people will not like me because I’m boring.
I also have pride issues. I take pleasure in people missing or being deprived of me. Last year I had awesome roommates who were so fun (Even around them on a 1 on 1 basis I felt anxiety). They had friends who would always come over and I did my funny shit and they loved it. When I moved out, all of my roommates and their friends kept facebooking/texting me saying how much they would miss me. It was the best feeling ever. That was probly my main motivation of moving out (I know it’s a little sick)
Now, I am living with some high school friends and it’s sooo boring compared to last year. They all have girls that come over and I’m the odd man out without one. My pride and anxiety of people makes my not want to text anyone to do anything, but at the same time I’m feeling so lonely now. That led me to search loneness on google and it took me here and now I am writing this.
keep the conversation going till i run out of things to say and feel dumb as fuck. In your case, however,
atleast you have other cool stuff like a college degree i would take the chance to getting one if things weren't so complicated then. Good luck, man.
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