Can't get a boyfriend or friends if my life depended on it. I've never really had a boyfriend per say. Dated 2 guys whom I thought it would turn into a relationship but didn't First guy had an ex-husband who would not leave him alone and kept crying on his shoulder about his problems. He refuses to not have any contact with him,citing all the history he had with him and that I would not understand since I've never been married. I think I'm intelligent enough to tell between right and wrong and when someone is not emotionally available. It lasted only 2 months. The second guy had commitment issues,we dated for 4 months and still did not consider me his boyfriend. He was too busy all the time with his work and studies. When we made plans together 1st he would break them because one of his University buddies always needed him. He used me to help him with household chores when we would get together and cut are dates very short.
I'm a very very picky,choosey and selective type of guy when it comes to trying to find gay men to befriend. I don't want anything that is long-distance. I get so many replies/friend requests on the sites that I have profiles/personal ads on from gay guys all over the world,but I'm not interested,because they are not located in the same city that I live in. I can't go out for coffee,dinner,movies,working out at the gym,ect. with someone who is not physically here in the same city. I don't have the patience to have an email/penpal/skype only type of friendship.
I'm not a bar/club/drag scene type of gay men either. I hate it,can't stand it. I don't drink,don't smoke,NOT looking for any type of hook-up,causal sex or anything of that sort. It's hard to find the ones who aren't into the bar scene like me. I like masculine gay men,not overly effeminate types,that does not attract me.
I've tried the volunteer route in getting involved with the gay community in the past and it has NEVER worked for me.I don't seem to click or connect with any of the people that I've worked with. I don't mind the actual physical work of doing whatever it is that I have to do,just not the people that I've worked with.
I'm picky about age too,I don't want someone who is too young and immature,nor do I want some old grandpa type either. 25 to 45 is the age range I'm seeking.
I have personal ads/profiles on Facebook,Craigslist.org,GayCanada,Gay.com,Gays.com,Manhunt.net,POF,Are You Interested.com,Zoosk.com and many,many more. Do you think I could get a potential boyfriend with all these sites that I'm at to save my life?????
I've been seeing a family counsellor now for roughly about 7 years now for this problem. I try to keep myself busy with the activties I enjoy to get myself away from the computer,but it is always in the back of my mind,that yearning and needing to have a gay friend or 2 and a boyfriend. I'm pretty much a loner and it sucks to be alone. Luckily I do have my immediate family to be around so I'm not completely alone. | |
When I'm single, I always want a relationship and looking online. Not anymore! I'm ready to focus on ME! That includes making friends, something which I've never really had. I have issues putting myself out there, trusting people, and finding others on the same wavelength as me. But it will get better. Petty guys who only want sex, looks, etc. don't work..it's hard to find the good ones, but they are there.
I`m so sorry about your 2nd relationship,it`s as if he was litterally cheating on you,good thing the bum is moving out,you can defintely do better.
I admit I do have issues in putting myself out there in the gay community and trusting people. I don`t know if I will ever get over them. I was never like you though,I was never into clubbing or hooking-up. Never have been and never will be.
I just wish the gay community here had more events/opportunities/groups,ect. for things to get involved with to meet gay men that pertain more to my personal interests. I`m not into workshops like art/literature/learning how to do drag/or singing in a choir. Those things do not interest me. That`s seems to be the extent of what they have to offer besides volunteering.
I don`t know what the perfect answer is to my problems. All I know is I will have to keep byding my time and the right gay man will eventually cross paths with me.
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