Im 27, and been depressed for about 7yrs, i lost my dad to cancer and we were close, was never the populour girl at school.Had a few friends but no one really stayed in touch after school. I started feeling lonely when i found out a few family secerts growing up,and when i was 15 i got a long term boyfriend who i was with till i was 21 we were happy untill he cheated on me and told me i wasnt marriage material. Then i meet another man later on and we got engaged and i had a a brillant job and was planning a wedding for next yr, but all came to a holt this christmas when i found out he was txting other women and then envenually he told me he didnt love me anymore and it was over, i started drinking heavely and now im on daily medication ,signed off work and lonely with no family support or boyfriend and sleeping in a friends house.I cant see anyway forward and blame my self for the state of my life and i cry everyday and feel sorry for self, i mope around the house in my pjs most days and im always thinking of the past and the bad things that makes me worse. I feel emotional stressed and very un happy.I have reguarly suicide throughts,ive tempted it twice with pills. But im to much of a coward to go threw with it. I hate my self so much and miss the old me the one who was happy and planning a wedding and a furture ,No couseling support either so my daily routine is lying in bed and making myself ill. Im hoping the is a light at the end of the tunnel as im scared for myself, As im really low and depressed everyday .......... | |
I've been in your shoes. It takes time to get over loss. Your dad, your break-up, the depression. It all get's compounded when your heart is broken. You're on meds, so they don't seem to be working huh?
It is so tough, what you need to do is surround yourself with people who can support you- friends? What do you like to do for activities? You've got to MAKE yourself get out of the SLUMP you're in. It's gonna be tough, but you gotta pull up those boot straps and DO IT! You've got a great job, that is waiting for you- that is fantastic! Go back to work. Get into a routine. Walking around in PJ's is not going to get your self-esteem back on track. Although, walking around in PJ's sounds really good to me right now! But anyhow, I know where you're at- been there. You have no energy, you can't focus, all you do is re-hash your relationship woes, and sink further into depression. GOTTA SNAP OUT OF IT!
Getting back to work will be a start. But seek counseling too. It will help you and your broken heart to talk to a professional. They will get to the "root" of your depression and perhaps get you on some meds that will work? That's my two cents- hope you feel better soon, we're all rootin for yah!
Cursed
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