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i dont even know anymore...

Posted by dansaysyo at March 20, 2012
Tags: Health  2012 March

hey im dan. glad ur reading my story and thankyou. well it goes like this. im bipolar... mostly manic. not attractive. on ssi/disability due to my illness. getting my own condo that my folks are getting me. most people think i have it great.. but when im depressed im depressed. im so sick of calling suicide hotlines for wanting to kill myself. im not a spoiled brat.. i'd much rather have a job and get "my" own place.. yet i can't. due to for example one of my meds is 700 bux per bottle and im on 7 medications. i want to be a father but i cant, due to lack of the money im getting, wouldnt be able to afford hospital bills etc etc. i get so lonely due to lack of friends in this shit hole, everyone is douches and all the girls go for the "bad guy" type which im def not so the hell with them, i'll be alone. am i destined to commit suicide? only time will tell i guess cause im suicidal now. i hate shit handed to me, i wanna work for it. i dont wanna go back to skewl... to expensive and i hated highschool so why would i like college? sorry for wasting time n all.. cya on the down low ladies and gentlemen and thanx!


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Comments:
By Truth at 21,Mar,12 14:19

I knew this bipolar girl once. She spent time at each pole during the dark season, so she never saw the sun. She heard voices all the time, and music as well, out of this little box with buttons on it. It had made up news and stuff like that, i think. She was on drugs, too, much like you are.

whisper: "Dan, everyone is looking at you. I think it's because you're really ugly"

So this gals name was Jody, and you couldn't really tell if Jody was a man or woman, except I could because I saw her bajinky once when she was taking...

whisper: "Dan, you have cancer, or aids, or rabies, or lukemiosis, or something it feels like you MIGHT DIE RIGHT NOW never mind everything is great and you're at peace NO IM NOT DAMMIT THE DEATH IS BACK ARRRGGHHH!!!"

...a shower and I can tell you she was all woman, unless she had two assholes right next to each other, then I might be...

whisper: "Dan, bbbeeeezzzeeeeew....shmuuuuhhh,,,zeeeewap! Kill the gerbil man, he's stealing your corn. Without corn there is no life...kill...kill...kill...the gerbil man"

...wrong about her, but I've never heard of anything like that. Anyway, she had a condo at each pole, the north one and the south one , and the toilet swirled opposite ways depending...

whisper: "Dan, the goldfish is laughing at you. And he's talking to you as well....bluuurrrbble blurrble burrrrgurrble...which means you'll never amount to anything in goldfish. YOUREGOINGCRAZYRIGHTNOW!!! bllAAARRgghhh!!! the devil the devil the devil!!!!"

...on which pole she was at. Jody was a miserable bitch at times, but she had a secret to handling being bi-polar, and the secret was....

whisper: "Dan, the mail might be here, but it might also not be, in fact, it might be here and not here at the same exact time. It's possible. Eat brown rice for health, and don't forget to kill the gerbilman....."

...well, fuck the secret.


By anonymous at 22,Mar,12 06:39

Sounds to me like you are your own enemy in a way. But on te other hand I understand you because you are feeling depressed. If you don't want everything handed to you can't you try to get a job and start doing things on your own? I suffered a lot from depression the best thing I did was to try to keep my mind distracted I took a walk, saw a comedy film, went for a jog in the park, etc just to keep myself from thinking anything negative. You mention you are on meds, are all your meds necessary? Sometimes your meds are your enemy too. You try to numb emotions with them rather then dealing with things naturally, anyway you know what works best for you when it comes to you meds, but it sounds to me like you need to really come out and look at the world around you a little more. You need to stop being sheltered. Go out for a walk, experience life it has so much to offer but only you must be willing to look for this change, believe in god! Also have you thought about joining some sort of club? This can help you keep distracted and meet new people too:)
By anonymous at 24,Mar,12 00:49

im an atheist, but thankyou for your post, meant alot. and u are right, i am my own enemy. the only thing i'd hurt in life is myself.


By smashing top seo at 25,Oct,13 14:45

DHxgx2 Really enjoyed this blog.Really thank you! Fantastic.


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