LIFE SUCKS

Not what I wanted.

My life has been better than others, I mean I'm not a child in the Darfur war or anything...but my father has beat many women in my life time, including breaking my nose. I was so angry with him that right after high school I moved in with my boyfriend and immediately got pregnant with my son who is now 8 months. My baby's father no longer wishes to have any connection with me on a deep level...I have tried to make it work with him but I simply cannot.
I recently started a job at a supermarket, and the bitch about this job is I was talked into doing this job from my father and my baby's father being that I would make more money, I loved where I was before. As I started going to work....I started developing a huge crush on this guy, and for the dumbest reasons.... like returning my pen or having civilized conversation with me. I lack the simplest attention at home from anybody, that I am desperate enough to feel like I need it from this guy at work that I barely know. It's sad. I put so much effort into sacrificing my happiness for what myson needs that I forgot about my basic needs as a human being.
My babys father does love me in his own way, but never in the way that I need. I feel so guilty.