I am gay.
and I'm asian.
and I live in indiana.
I'm not out to my family. I just can't. They won't accept it no matter what.
I'm not even out to my friends. They will all just leave me because east asians are very homophobic.
Everyday I wake up and hypnotize myself into thinking today will be better than yesterday but we all know that's such bullshit.
I want to make friends but I'm afraid of getting too close to anybody because then I would have to come out to them.
My life just doesn't make sense. It's just not fair. What's the meaning of my life? What am I still alive? that's right. I'm alive because I can't kill myself. FML |
I don't mean that to be flippant, I mean that with compassion. I too am a member of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community. I didn't want my family to know, but they demanded to know. My mom doesn't accept it, she called me "funny" (strange). I wish she didn't know, because it's embarrassing for someone uptight to know all your business.
I don't feel the need to "come out". I feel coming out is silly. I don't think my bisexuality encompasses all of who I am as a person. If were androgynous that would be a different story. At least it's not obvious that you're gay! I think that's the gay establishment brainwashing people into "living out loud."
But on another note, you shouldn't have fake friends. It's better to have one true friend than a bunch of fake friends. Why not start by finding community online (not facebook).
Good luck to you.
If you're over 18- you are free to move about the country. If there are no single, gay, guys in Indiana- THEN MOVE.
Cursed
I say, use your family for their money until you are done college, but move far away from them. Then, when you don't need them anymore, just go live your life the way you want.
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