LIFE SUCKS

My terrible life

I am living in Toronto. I hate this city and think that it is the hell to me. I am 46 and have a teenage and a 4 year kids. I lost my job because that the fucken manager wanted to control the office with his previous fellows. Since then I could not find a job I believe that other employers doesn't want to hire someone that was fired, even though that person is insane. In fucken Canada, I could get maximum 49 weeks of ei benefits and after that, my family had to live on my wife's salary. My wife is working part time of an on call job. Each month we have only merely about $1500 to live on. Back to five years ago, when my second kid was born, I took 5 weeks parental leaving, now the fucken gov of Canada is forcing me to pay back two weeks of the parental benefits from the overall 5 weeks amount that they paid me. My daughter wants a bicycle, I do not have money for it. I cannot afford day to day expensives. Each week I go to the market to pick up the cheapest food and vegetables. Even with on sale iterms, I have to calculate the cost to keep everything in the budget. I cannot afford any expenses, so right now, during the march break, I cannot take my kids to anywhere or have any activities. I am afraid to take my kids to the shop, because I feel so bad when they asking me to buy something like potato chips. We are renting a part of a house. Inside the rooms, we put two beds, and some boxes for clothes. The rooms are so macy and there are mice and crickets everywhere. I hate this ghetto living conditions but I could not change it. I become disbelieving god and don't trust anybody. I really want to kill someone, even though it doesn't help to improve my situation. I hope that some kind of natural disasters happen here in the whole Canada to destroy its buildings, people and everything. Fuck the god, fuck the people, fuck the land.