I am 40 years old. I grew up in a household of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse. I married when I was 19 to a man whom I thought would free me from that lifestyle. Life was always hard between us. We were always poor and struggling just not to be homeless.My health was not good, I had several miscarriages and could never have kids.My dad died when I was just 23. My closest relative, my sister and I, had a falling out and then my mom died. Due to my health I lost 90% of my vision and driving, working, and reading were out now. Financially it was a killer also.Not long after I lost my vision I discovered my husband had molested a girl of about 10. She was a close family friend and we split up. He went to a resident sex addict program and I tried therapy. By this time we had been married nineteen years, although not happily. I am a christian and I do not believe in divorce except under extreme circumstances and I wanted to believe people can change. The girls parents had decided not to press charges at lease for the meantime and we got back together, which I know a lot of people will not understand. In december of 2011 I was diagnosed to be in stage 4 renal failure and the girls parents have decided to press charges. I have no friends, nor family left except for him. I am pretty much housebound and cannot live on my own or face being homeless. I know I am a christian but suicide never looked better | |
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