I'm 24 years old, live on my own, have money.
The problem?
I DON'T OWN A FUCKING LAVA LAMP.
This makes me very sad and depressed. Sometimes I have dreams about jumping off cliffs, or driving down the road really fast on the wrong side. Sometimes I cut myself.
Sometimes I think if I had a lava lamp, I could get lost in it's beauty and be complete again. I don't need a girlfriend because I masturbate all the time. Besides, all they do is cry anyway.
I suppose I could get in my car and drive to target and buy one, but that would require me leaving my apartment. I get scared when I see other people. They make me nervous and I feel like they want to hit me.
Just kidding. My life is sweet. | |
She has bad breath.
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