Im an 18 year old guy and i know that being eighteen i am young and there still is a chance that i wont feel the way i do about things forever. Life for me has always kinda sucked. I never really had friend's during my childhood i was always the nerdy skinny kid who loved video game's. i was constantly flogged by people, i tried to defend myself but i always ended up getting overpowered, I had plastic surgery to have my ears pinned back because i was bullied that much about them being massive but afterwards apparently they looked even more fucked to people, some kid ended up grabbing my left ear and pulling it so the wound
ripped open.
I love my parents but they were always so overprotective of me and i never got to follow any of my interest's because they were either considered violent or dangerous. When i was 13 i got shipped off to boarding school, shit just got worse there. I was beaten up every day for a year and a half constantly, i always had bruises or carpet burn on my body from where the other guy's had flogged me or dragged me around i tried to fight back like usual but same thing happened i was overpowered by older people and people my age and they sometimes flogged me in groups, they also sexually humiliated me a fair bit. i tried to tell people about what was happening to me but no one believed me because every one would cover for the people hurting me.
Things started to get worse when one day i was on the oval of the school in the evening thinking about home when 3 of the older guys decided to look for me, i was in a area where no one could hear me so what happened could not have been prevented. When they found me they beat me up that bad i couldn't move my arms or legs then one of them sat on top of me on my back and held my arms, i was screaming for help but no one could hear me, the 2nd person raped me whilst the 3rd watched out for them.i was only thirteen when this happened I have never told any one i know about the rape.
I managed to convince my parents to let me out of boarding school and let me stay at home and go to the local high school. after that i had a decent year and a half of life. i met a girl i loved and was with her till recently and had an awesome group of friends, but for that year and a half i became the fucking devil to my parents, i stole off of em to get drugs. got angry trashed thing's out of anger and disobeyed their every word.
One day mum took me to see someone from a hospital about my psychotic behavior
and we ended up having an argument that escalated which resulted in me being flown down to the nearest city for a mental evaluation. let's just say i verbally assaulted the doctor and ran away from the hospital which ended up getting the police involved and got me sent to a mental hospital instead.
All the friends i had then never spoke to me again after i got out.i finished grade 10 and then failed grade 11 because i basically didn't attend most of the year, i tried to do it again the next year but didnt attend enough again so i dropped out halfway through the year. the only thing keeping me going by this point was a bunch of drug's and my girlfriend who lived 2000 kilometers away. i dated this girl for four years she's the only girlfriend ive ever had and the only girl ive had sex with. i saw her every two months at a time and got to stay with her for a few week's at a time, when i was with her i felt like the happiest guy in the universe. she made me feel so loved i could cry. Anyway i found out she cheated on me many times and got pregnant to another guy and left me after my 18th birthday.
Anyway to cut thing's short, things deteriorated at home so i now live with random relatives in a city ive never lived in before with no friends what so ever, i don't know any girls and im fucking unhappy. Im trying to turn things around but its very fucking hard | |
i agree that these past traumas have affected you very strongly and maybe you were mad at your parents for sending you to that boarding school and blame everything that happened there on them. and honestly, i kinda feel like it was not a good thing to do on their part. maybe u should let them know why u acted out. i hope everything works out for you. you are a very strong person. g*d bless and good luck.
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