First, I don't know my real father, but I'd had one that was pretty damn good until I was 12. Then he may as well have yelled that he wasn't my father when I decided to go live with my mom.
Tomorrow I turn 18 and I've been planning to go see my friends from when I lived in a place about three hours from where I live now. The woman I call my grandmother thought it would be a good idea for me to talk to my dad since we had such a lovely chat last time we spoke (sarcasm). What happened last time? He went through my things when I was visiting him. Why was it a big deal? He had kicked me out two and a half years prior to that, so what I had was none of his business (although there was nothing bad in there). So I get a friend to drive all the way there and pick me up to bring me home, and the entire way my "dad" is telling me what a worthless piece of shit my mom and all three of her sons are. So we stopped talking to each other because I wanted to kick his ass. So my "grandma" gives my "dad" my phone number and we talk. The first thing he does is tell me what all we are going to change about my appearance. I said no. He tells me I need to apologize to his girlfriend or wife or whatever she is to him now, for the things I said to her (I never said one bad thing to/about her). So I tell him he needs to apologize to my mom. He says that I treat her like she can do no wrong and him like he can do no right, and until he said that I hadn't been doing that. I'm starting to lean towards the idea, though. I tell him he also apologize to my brothers for what he said. He rhetorically asked me what my older brother, who has a phobia of social situations, is doing to better himself and that my special needs younger brother is so fucked up he'll never make anything of himself.
I loved the man like he was my father...but I will not sit there and listen to someone belittle or talk down upon my family. So I told him that I never want to speak to him again...and after he sent me three more messages I told him exactly as I've just said in this last paragraph, "I loved you like you were my real father, but I will not sit here and listen to you talk down on my family. So just...leave me alone..." I can't speak for how much that hurt him, but it hurt me more than he will ever know... | |