My dad was an alcocholic. When he started drinking he wouldnt stop for 1-2 weeks 4 3 days was the minimum he would be drunk. Come home drunk yell at my mom,my sisters, almost every night we would run away to my grandmas or sometimes just wait till hes sleeping and sneak back in. My mom has such a good heart. When hes sober she would forget about it and move on, and expect another day just like described. Been going on for 30 years. When I was 12 I moved to states, kinda sorta illegaly, stayed there 7 years. First 4 years i made no friends, i stayed at home and did nothing but played games like runescape. junior in highschool i started going out and made a few friends, but when we did have a party, it was always a cock fest. One day my friends were over and my pos came home drunk as shit started screaming and yelling at me i pushd him over and they ran away. We were still friends, thank god. I feel like nobody likes me, accept a few ppl, i think everyone is fake and talks behind your back how much of a loser you are. I went back to my country after 7 years, everything sucks, I feel like i dont fit in here, ppl are selfish and rude. Again i stayed home day and night went out a few times with old friends, but i feel like they dont want to talk to me. Left to england, i was a cleaner, got fired, unemployed on benifits, got some part time job right now, but theyre not calling me cuz tehre is no work. I stay at home and play xbox all day. Some days i dont even say 10 words to anyone in the house, im living at, i havent been on a date in 2 years, didnt have sex in like 3. I want to go back to the states, and start my life over, the right way. Im worried about what the future holds for me, i dont know what i want to do with my life, sometimes i wish i died, but then i think about my family and how it would hurt them. im not good at anything, i keep forgeting stuff, i want to change my life but i dont know what to do, i wish someone would tell me what to do and put me on the right track. I dont have anyone to talk to, im alone in England with no family, or decent friends.
i know my life isnt described as bad as everyoen else on here, but it still sucks. WTF are we even doing here ehhh. | |
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