LIFE SUCKS

Life Is Going Straight Downhill

SO.
I always had so much fun in high school. I was "popular" I guess. By that I mean I had a lot of friends in every single social clique. Everyone knew who I was. Dance team, student council, Peers and Leadership program called PALS, class officer, voted onto the homecoming court, voted best smile. Everyone knew that I was always happy and fun.
Now that I've graduated and about to turn 19 Life has hit. A HUGE HUGE metal bat hit to the face pretty much. I can't seem to figure out what to do in life, as in what to go to school for. If I do pick something I need to apply to the program which only accepts about 12 people, so there's probably not a chance of me getting in.
I feel so trapped. There's no way I will be completely out from under my parents wings in any amount of time. In my eyes it will take years before I'm done with school and living on my own.
The ONLY positive in my life is my boyfriend, whom I have been with forever. BUT it's been off and on. He always breaks up with me like every few months, he claims he won't this time, but we'll see.
I just feel stuck, like every 10 steps forward I'm taking 20 back. and DEFINITELY the 5040857 steps I thought I was taking forward throughout grade school I doubled that in taking steps backwards socially and academically.
Life is hard.
Sometimes I just think how the hell does God expect us to do all this.
Even if anyone does go to college for 4+ years, it's getting harder and harder every year for grads to get jobs. I just don't see how I WONT end up in a box on the side of the street..