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Trapped.

Posted by anonymous at February 20, 2012
Tags: Attitude  Family  2012 February

Myriad "blessings" here. Really first world problems, I guess. I hate my life. I'm a stay-at-home mom with three kids. Never wanted this large of a family, but that's the hand I was dealt. Yes, I could have been more careful with my birth control, but when it takes you three and a half years and tens of thousands of dollars to get & stay pregnant the first time (with twins no less), and all the (many) doctors tell you it's a miracle you had kids at all, you might think the chances you'd get pregnant on your own are slim. Well, they're not. I'm her, the Urban Legend, having a baby on her own after years of infertility treatment.

My marriage is a shambles. My husband has rage issues, may be depressed, and surely is not the man I married. (It's probably true that I'm not the woman he married either.) I am completely socially isolated. I have friends that I see maybe once every two months, and online "friends," but that's it.

I am so unhappy being stuck at home with kids all day that I'm largely unable to enjoy my kids. Their "precious years" are passing by, but I'm just a miserable sack of shit. I start drinking every day at 4:00 PM on the dot, and am drunk by early evening. It's the only way I can get through the day. I'm on antidepressants, which has helped me be a more patient mother, but even if I'm able to put a neutral face on the outside, inside I'm seething with resentment towards my situation, my husband, and sadly, even my kids. I'm tired of wiping poopy butts, repeating the endless work each day entails, the lack of variety in my schedule, the constant discipline, the constant money worries, the neverending shittiness of each and every day, now and tomorrow, forever and ever, amen.

That is all.


Votes:


Similar Entries:
trapped July 16, 2011
I feel trapped! May 14, 2012
life sucks. February 19, 2010
Hopeless February 3, 2010
So Disappointed January 22, 2011



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Comments:
By kifi4@hotmail.com at 27,Feb,12 21:34

Resent? If you gave up on your family, then you will be left with nothing. Nothing at all. Divorce then leave the kids to the angry dad? Would you do that? Better not.

Now is time to truly adjust for your family and learn to enjoy it. Not because of what I am going to say, but because you need to for your-self and your kid.

There are plenty of fun things to do with children; play with children and invest for your retirement. If you daughter wants to sing and dance, give her the chance. If your son is interest in the computing, be supportive, and so on.

Your children will be asking countless of questions, and when you don't know the answers, just say you don't know and allow them to find the answers them-self. Children do what they like to do with immense amount of energy, don't have that wasted. No money? Take them to the library. Remember to read bed time story, because that set their reading ability right.

Set their mind right for education as well as giving them a specialty of interest when they are young. That is how you invest into your family. By the way, do invite your husband to listen to bed time story, cause it heals anger issue with his kid present and your voice playing in the background, furthermore, do some club dancing with him at home like how you used to do it b4 marriage.

Daughter? watch girls cartoon with her and play karaoke on your computer by karaoke videos on youtube and pluging a microphone into your computer. (Youtube's player volume on low, PC master volume on high) Son? Play video game with him on a nintendo console. Video game is mainstream now, kids that don't play get bullied at school.

Meet other mum who looks as good as your-self via your kids, you will find other friends that way. You may even find one that is into exchanging partner for some spice in life.

When your kid are teenagers, you can drink with them at the dinner table. Drinking is a tradition of the human race, not a bad habit. The original recipe of beer has got antibiotics and a very sweet taste naturally present in them thousands years BC. The ancient Egyptian volunteered to build pyramid partially for beer. Nope, they were not slave as told by other DECEIVING sources .

Back to the point, raise them right and you will have family and friends for life, raise them badly then you may be left at a nursing home alone for your retirement. Not very good. Google my post here by my email and "life sucks three out of four"


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