LIFE SUCKS

yeah...

so my life's kinda not that bad but i figured i'd throw my shit in. when i was a kid we immigrated from england to america. got made fun of for how i talked n looked. had a turban too, parents were from india, so got made fun of for that. the city i was in was next to an air force base. lots of conservative people who just hated brown folk. valentines day sucked, all the girls basically thought i was a joke. i asked the only brown girl out and when word got out the entire school pointed + laughed at me in the hallway.

fast-forward a couple years, n september 11th goes down, and everyone in the town went from thinking i was hilarious looking to being scared of me. women were afraid i was going to hurt their children [they'd literally pull their kids away from me] in malls n stuff walking between stores. went to a massive city-wide party up north & people thought I was dressed as Osama Bin Laden.

In college I cut my hair because I just wasn't a hardcore believer in the religion, but when I went home to reveal my new face to my family, my mother + sister ran away sobbing uncontrollably, and my father stayed in his room refusing to come down. when i went up to him, he began to sob uncontrollably as well. that's stuck with me to this day. in college i didn't attend most classes and ended up with a super low gpa, which again has stuck with me to this day.

i got into music, drugs, alcohol, and made friends with some musicians, formed a band but the guy i was in a group with OD'd on heroin. My girlfriend broke up with me the same week. And the studio recordings we were doing were handed to his mom, who still has them in her house to this day, and she refuses to let any of his friends listen to any of it, or put any of it out there. After the death I moved back home, after I realized I had no other friends and nobody cared that this guy had died or that I was broken because of it. Went home and just lived in my parents basement for a year or two.

Moved back to the College town to try school again, met a girl instead, we tried to form a band but we didn't get along, but ended up being great as a couple. moved back to the parents home where apparently she lost all her friends and nearly broke up with me many times. went back to the college town a third time to try and finish the degree.

i do comedy, but most of the comedians hate me. i play music, and after years of doing it i finally have a band, but the entire lineup is so unstable it makes the future impossible to predict. my girlfriend just left because she has anger issues, and i have no idea when she's coming back. im alive, but ive been through alot. i try to be positive but sometimes the shittyness will catch me up.

its been nearly 10 years since i graduated from highschool, and i have no degree to show for my many years of work in college. i also gave away most of my clothes after my friend died so I typically wear shitty clothing. I'm also overweight and out of shape even though I used to play sports and be athletic in school. I've got knee problems which cause my legs to give out every now and then. and im unconfident as fuck because of all the bullying, even though im apparently a pretty decent looking kid.