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the world is too opressive, I'm too fragile

Posted by Somebody who probably shouldn't at May 7, 2010
Tags: Attitude  Juvenile problems  2010 May

I am what seems like a average rich kid. had millionaire parents, go to Boston Latin, got good grade, got alot of extracurriculars, accepted to alot of good universities, nice girlfriend, and I think I'm relatively handsome too. I could say I am fortunate to have such luxury aviliable to me.

It was said "with more power came more responsibilities." Yes, I have been blessed with privilages, but I don't think I can handle my life. my life aren't exactly cruising on its own, I had many problems. First of all, my parents were divorced five years ago, and I somehow choose my dad as my legal guardian. He remarried, but my guardians have extremely high expectations, I can't catch a single breath from doing hard work to keep up the perfect image.

I was diagnosed with depression a year ago, from a overload of expectations. I cannot stand the gaze of my father after a test below a 90 or a A- on a report card, and below expecation work appeared more and more often as I get though my high school career. I always wanted to tell them I'm not god, I can't do everything right, their responce was I have only two thing I have to get right, my grade and my extacurriculars. Then my father bombard me with his glorious childhood in which he done many things easily that take me so hard to do.

I rescently became more and more detached,I can feel every classmates admires me, my teachers praises me. but I felt thoughnobody really in the core of their heart likes me. in fact, I can only see jelousy in their eyes, but again, I am a bit delusional and a bit depressed. I felt no love, no real friendships, no understanding.I felt no one is taking me seriously.

I felt everything around me is dead, lifeless. as if I'm locked in a invisible prison cell. but again, how am I not in a prison cell? I'm forced into a life, I have no way to speak out, I am locked in.


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Comments:
By anonymous at 08,May,10 03:29

i feel ur pain dude same with me


By anonymous at 08,May,10 07:23

U r lucky. I have poor family. My parents divorced when I was born. Since then I never had met my father. My mother raised 4 children and she also looked after her old mother (however my grandmother died 10 years ago) alone. Her income is not enough for our life. So my older brother started to work when he was 17 while his study. Soon he left his school and went abroad to work. His business had no success. And he is now 38 has 2 children and wife. His income is barely enough to his family. My older sister has no good career and work. She sometimes get money from my old mother's pension. And about me. I'm 20 now. Well I was overachiever in school. I was successful and quite happy for my accomplishments. I am much younger from my sister and brother. In my teenage years I lived with my mother. My mother lost hope in relationship and life. So she didn't want me to go out with boys and friends. So my teenage years was full of loneliness and depression. As I am good at school I easily get good university and scholarship. Other people were quite jealous. But it don't matter. I don't care their jealousy. Because I used to be alone and independent. When I came in city I started to work while study. Because I don't want to get money from my poor family. Working get much time from my study. Then from the 2nd year of university, my grades decreased. I became more and more tired and depressed. My boss pushes me hard. My job is quite good than average. So I can't quit my job. Also I need money for living. But I have to study. I'm losing my hopes, dreams and ambition. Also it's hard that people around me don't understand me. I know I'm very introverted and seems independent to others. But inside me, I am insecure child. I have never grown up. I have very low self esteem however my peers admire me a lot. I have very negative picture of my tomorrow. Right now, I don't know what to do. I can't do anything except crying and binging. Life really sucks.


By anonymous at 08,May,10 22:07

You care way too much about what others think. Take up an individual hobby that is not competitive. Something like mountain climbing. When you reach a difficult summit, you will feel that you have accomplished something. If you fail to reach the summit of a difficult route, you will realize that you have made an intelligent choice to retreat (unless you are just a total wuss).


By anonymous at 09,May,10 10:33

you should go study in another country, get new friends and just enjoy your life


By anonymous at 09,May,10 11:12

ok, how old are you?? do you have your own bank account?? your own car?? rich or not, if you can work, do it and get out on your own, move in with a friend. Parents can be overbearing because maybe their parents were that way.. Either way, if your a legal 18+ adult, your not locked into anything...suck it up, get a job. you may be used to being a "richie" but take it from a 43 yr. old mom of 2..life is hard without people trying to tell you what to do with your life..did u hear me.."YOUR life"! Study what you like, do the job you love, be happy..no one can force you to do anything..if i had only known that when i was growing up..i would have taken ART or Oceanology and done something worthwhile in my life, not stuck in this 8.00 hr. job with no benefits struggling day to day. i wish i had your problem right now. ook, there is always a way to remedy things. School Counselors are free, talk to one about your problems.. it helps. really. dont let your pride get in the way and dont be afraid of your father. Can you go live with your mom?? does she know whats going on with you and your life??? if not and you get along..tell her..even if you dont get along..u only have one mom, break down the walls between you two and talk..sounds like you need it. do u have siblings?? look, all i am saying is, talk to someone who can help if your underage, if not..and you an adult..act like one! Dont complain..do something. i wish i had..its still early in your life to change and shape how you want it. REMEMBER THAT, good luck...i know you can do it...from the beginning i told my girls (18 and 15 now) you can be whatever you want, but be the best at it...like the NIKE commercial says..JUST DO IT. have NO FEAR! i hope u do well..x


By anonymous at 09,May,10 18:05

kill yourself

or do what buddha did

he abandoned his inherited riches

and now everyone reveres him

DO IT FAGGOT

you have only one life to do it..

Sincerely,
God
By anonymous at 17,May,10 12:39

ur not God ur an ass and u need to shut ur mouth and leave the poor boy alone hes having a hard time.

-country girl


By Angel at 09,May,10 21:27

Sounds like your father is a control freak. Trust me when I say high school grades and extracurricular activities will not be the defining moments of your life. They are just fancy distractions that pad college applications. And even Ivy League universities will not define your success. (But you should of course go to college.) I know what it is like to have others pretend to like you when really they are jealous and cannot relate. You should try to get away from your family and venture out on your own. Don’t drug your sadness with anti depressants. It’s always painful when parents divorce and sometimes it takes time to recover. Try to seek out people who are genuine and establish real friendships. Take the luck and gifts you have been given and chart your own course in life.
By anonymous at 10,May,10 05:48

Have a massive shouting match with your father. Let it out. Unless he's the sort to disown you and leave you with nothing.


By anonymous at 11,May,10 10:29

This is not a bullshit comment.

Start smoking herb, it's affects will cause you to relax, focus on just the moment and just you and your actions so you don't feel like you're caged in. A schedule is a cage, but smoking seriously makes you way less depressed about it, I work two jobs, go to school fulltime and have no time for a serious relationship, yet when I smoke buddha, I'm just happy to be alive, focusing on just the good shit in life and saying "Fuck the bad."

By the way, marijuana is not as bad as you might have "heard". Graduated highschool with a 4.0 and college is a breeze (I major in comp sci)
By anonymous at 17,May,10 12:40

drugs is not the answer.


By anonymous at 12,May,10 10:18

oh man I can totally relate to your post . My parents forced me to do it all: study, music classes, ballet , pro sport, college, more college. Until I could not take it anymore. I always felt I ow to my parents, because they are so wealthy and because they have always got what i wanted, and lets face it it is pretty fortunate. But think about it you did not choose whether to be or not to be born-yes there some assshity parents out there, but actually it is parent's responsibility to take care of their siblings. What I am trying to say is that you do not ow your father anything.On the other hand the only thing that you do have -is this life ,and only you can make it happy-so you should just press the STOP button and think for a while what is out there that would make you happy , and try to go for it.It sure does sound like a cliché ,and sure enough it is easier said then done-but this is basically what have worked for me .


By anonymous at 15,May,10 17:39

Poor little rich kid. Your life is something that can be fixed, but it may seem silly but I think you should live it like a movie. Get out there and get yourself a girl who is poor-ish and isn't affraid to speak her mind and she'll turn your life around for you


By anonymous at 25,May,10 03:53

i hate these fucking rich people who bitch and moan about how hard life is. whats wrong the mall closed early so it was the worst day of your life? try growing up in the ghetto eating bread and water and then you can whine, until then fuck off
By anonymous at 25,May,10 18:13

fuck off, really. rich people isnt exactly whiney assholes. this site is designed and supposed to help these people, not to hurt them further. if you don't understand them, stop commenting on their thread.


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