I am what seems like a average rich kid. had millionaire parents, go to Boston Latin, got good grade, got alot of extracurriculars, accepted to alot of good universities, nice girlfriend, and I think I'm relatively handsome too. I could say I am fortunate to have such luxury aviliable to me.
It was said "with more power came more responsibilities." Yes, I have been blessed with privilages, but I don't think I can handle my life. my life aren't exactly cruising on its own, I had many problems. First of all, my parents were divorced five years ago, and I somehow choose my dad as my legal guardian. He remarried, but my guardians have extremely high expectations, I can't catch a single breath from doing hard work to keep up the perfect image.
I was diagnosed with depression a year ago, from a overload of expectations. I cannot stand the gaze of my father after a test below a 90 or a A- on a report card, and below expecation work appeared more and more often as I get though my high school career. I always wanted to tell them I'm not god, I can't do everything right, their responce was I have only two thing I have to get right, my grade and my extacurriculars. Then my father bombard me with his glorious childhood in which he done many things easily that take me so hard to do.
I rescently became more and more detached,I can feel every classmates admires me, my teachers praises me. but I felt thoughnobody really in the core of their heart likes me. in fact, I can only see jelousy in their eyes, but again, I am a bit delusional and a bit depressed. I felt no love, no real friendships, no understanding.I felt no one is taking me seriously.
I felt everything around me is dead, lifeless. as if I'm locked in a invisible prison cell. but again, how am I not in a prison cell? I'm forced into a life, I have no way to speak out, I am locked in.
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or do what buddha did
he abandoned his inherited riches
and now everyone reveres him
DO IT FAGGOT
you have only one life to do it..
Sincerely,
God
-country girl
Start smoking herb, it's affects will cause you to relax, focus on just the moment and just you and your actions so you don't feel like you're caged in. A schedule is a cage, but smoking seriously makes you way less depressed about it, I work two jobs, go to school fulltime and have no time for a serious relationship, yet when I smoke buddha, I'm just happy to be alive, focusing on just the good shit in life and saying "Fuck the bad."
By the way, marijuana is not as bad as you might have "heard". Graduated highschool with a 4.0 and college is a breeze (I major in comp sci)
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