I was born in a women's correctional facility and immediately put up for adoption. I never met my dad or any of my real family members really. I got molested by one of my foster dad almost every day until I was 15. I tried telling cps but they never believed me and he would beat me once he found out that I told on him so I stopped after the 2nd attempt. I feel like maybe it was my fault though, like maybe if I wasn't so quiet and weird he wouldn't feel the need to mess with me. He's all I had though, so we grew close in a really weird way. I never had friends, ever. I had some myspace friends but they deleted me once they realized that they didn't actually know me. I ran away from home when I was 15 because I was tired and wanted to start fresh, plus I was failing high school and got bullied to a point where I thought of suicide on the regular. No one would even notice or care. I haven't seen my foster dad since then nor do I care to. I hope he's dead. I'm homeless now but I've been applying to different fast food places because I want to be able to have money and spend it on stuff like clothes and food. But until then, they're just pipe dreams. Sometimes I want to start doing drugs or something to get my mind off of things, but I can't even fucking afford to be an addict. all of my food is either found, free, or stolen. I want my life to be better than this. Please God. PLEASEEEEE. | |
Some catholic convents where the religious people like nuns and brothers live, have a room or two where they let people stay for a retreat when they are trying to find themselves.
This is free to my knowledge. You should look on the Vocationnetwork dot org and see if there is a place where you can stay for a retreat and maybe, join the religious life.
Or you can go to the department of Transitional Assistance
Or You can look up and try to find an Intentional Community thats what they call communes or places where people work together to live. Sometimes you can live with a kid with down syndrome free if you help him with his day to day life. Or sometimes the communities are about living off the grid and in nature so look around and find a community or commune.
I really truely hope this is good advice for you.
Sounds like you've had one helluva go with what you've been dealt. Thing is, keep your head above water and ask for help. Go to the Dept. of Social Services, Red Cross even local churches. Right now in your life you need to focus on positive things and what "can" be done... not what can't. I'm with a lady that had the same situation with her step-father and it started when she was 2 until she was 17. She got counseling and it hasn't always been easy with the two of us but we've worked through it all together. There are good people out there that are more then willing to help you and sit with you while you talk/cry about it all and get it out. You just have to look... :)
I'm sorry to hear about your troubles, don't give up. You are loved.
They are famous for hiding behind their blood soaked robes, building palaces, & leaving starving people to die in the streets every single day. Don't bother with a church. They will send you out the door with the same thing you came in with. Nothing.
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