Growing up i was a HAPPY person.I had a wonderfull supporting and loving family and i hade DRIVE to become something out of the ordinary. I believed and loved GOD. Then something changed....my whole world was flipped up side down and now im miserable at best. every day i wake up its usually coming out of a night terror.My heart pounds in pain and i feel like all my sanity is gone.i was diagnosed with ptsd last year and was told to take medication to help but i dont becouse all that stuff douse is turn you into an emotionless zombie. somedays im optimistik and can see promise in my future but other days...i just wish i didnt exist. i tried to drownd my problems away with drugs and all that did was make me worse. My family looks at me like some sort of defect and all i want is to see that love they use to have for me in there eyes. Bottom line...i just want to be happy. |
You can be happy, things can change quickly. You cant see the future, dark days can be followed by bright days. Have hope and trust in God with your life. If you've read the bible you probably know the story of Joeseph, who was left for dead by his brothers and then sold into slavery. He probably thought he was as good as dead, but God had a great plan for his life. He did, as Joeseph eventually became second in command of Eqypt (which was a very powerful position in those days). The story of Joeseph reminds us to trust in the lord jesus, even if things are as worse as they can get. "Trust in the LORD with all your heart,and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths".
Proverbs 3:5-6
Your family loves you, they don't see you as a defect, thats just your depressed mind playing tricks on you. You may be clinicly depressed in which case anti depressents can really help, also try to get some exercise in, it can take a good effect on you emotionally. Anyways, take care.
Regards
I had PTSD myself. Take your meds. I hate the meds, but they helped. Try to find therapy. With a few calls to my local university I was able to see a graduate student for $15/hour. PTSD is a living hell. I wish you the best of luck.
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