I have lost all faith in humanity. As I look back upon my life so far, it occurs to me that people have treated me like dogshit all my life, and I still don't really know why. I am actually very good to the people around me. I am one of those people who never minds to help others, and I am an absolute fanatic about keeping my word. Most people don't even know what that means anymore.
Everything that I have ever tried to accomplish in life has been sabotaged by the laziness or malice of someone else. I was kicked out of college for political activities. Of course, I had a miserable time there anyway, as I did not make a single friend. And yes, I tried.
I tried to start unions at several restaurants where I worked, because we were all being fucked out of entire days of pay and most people didnt even realize it (NEVER WORK FOR WAL-MART!!!) I did everything according to the law, and the law was supposed to protect our right to unionize, as outlined in the national labor relations act. THEY DIDN'T. Although the law says they can't even ask me if I'm in a union, I have been fired three times for union membership.
When I was 12, I was thrown in the nuthouse because my parents broke up and they THOUGHT I was depressed. I wasn't. While there, I was subjected to electric tortures, attempts at brainwashing, and forced to take drugs. Mentally, I was fine until I stepped in there.
When I was 22, I was thrown in jail for a crime I did not commit. I was only in there for a month but they were trying to keep me for ten years...all for something I never even did.
My band recently fell apart, too. But, since I was the one carrying the band completely, that's no surprise. I waited years for these jackasses to quit doing drugs and playing with their balls and get down to business. I have experienced the whole "VH1 behind the music" experience, all without even getting famous or making a single dime!
That's the story of my life...paying the cost, making the sacrifices, and then watching as everything I do gets screwed up by someone else.
I can't even hardly get laid even though I am told I am a good-looking man...this is because every woman I meet in this town is addicted to pills and thinks "monogamy" is some kind of exotic tree. If you try to talk to them about something other than partying, sex, or popular media, they look at you like a deer caught in the headlights. Yet they all go to college and are supposedly the best and brightest our nation has to offer! Even when I find a woman in this town physically attractive, I am repulsed nonetheless by her whorish personality. But either way, I am seriously disadvantaged in the dating department because I am as poor as a church mouse. I barely scrape by every month and don't have much to my name. I lost my previous job because I refused to tolerate verbal abuse from two co-workers, so they made up a bunch of lies, put their signature to them, and got me fired. They said I was a violent psychopath and a danger to everyone, and that was the nice part. If I really were that kind of person, I would have killed that crackhead whore and that racist piece of shit on day one. The lies that were told about me were beyond ridiculous, but since my boss was the biggest asshole of all time, and was constantly blaming me for other peoples mistakes anyway, they got their way and I lost my job. Is there justice anywhere on earth??
I recently had my car STOLEN by the cops. That's right, it wasn't impounded, they just took it. A Judge told me they had no right to do it...then told me there was nothing I could do. It cost almost 400 dollars to get it back.
I have grown to a point where I refer to the average human as a sodomite, at least in my own mind, because when I look around that is what I see: a decadent bunch of scum who sit on their lazy fucking asses all day concerned with nothing but their own pleasure. This is because people never do anything except let me down. Like Sodomites, we have lost all morality and now we are just a cesspit, spiraling towards the eventual fate of Sodom...a fucked-out, burned-out pile of shit.
Anymore, when someone starts to talk to me, I tune them out because I honestly have grown to a point where I don't care about people anymore, when I used to be the complete opposite. In short, I have spent my whole life trying to find something good in humanity, and so far I am batting a big double zero on finding it. And in case you're wondering why I don't sue some of these people? Well, there are several problems. First, you have to have absolute proof, which isn't always available, and secondly, you have to have money for a lawyer, which I don't. And third, everytime I have spoken with lawyers about these issued described above, they have basically told me I can't do anything...but maybe with enough money, they could figure something out...just like so much else, I'm screwed for lack of money.
I feel like I live in the middle of a pit of demons, whom I can't get away from, but can never trust or like, either. I think I need to go live somewhere way out in the wilderness....oh wait, I can't even do that without thousands of dollars to buy the land!!!! Stupid people have destroyed most of the wilderness anyway, then laid claim to what was left so that no one could be free for even one minute.
I would give ANYTHING for a chance to live in a place where my rights were respected, the people around me were decent, and most of all, where I could just have a little piece of my own woods, where no one could tell me what to do or how to live. All I desire in this entire world is a little bit of freedom, justice, and a few good people around me. Why is that so much to ask? | |
The arrivals
Im sorry to hear about your hardships and the injustices against you. Have hope, look at the cup as half full not half empty. Surround yourself around good people, even if that means going somewhere you dont like (like church lol). Search "nick vujicic" on youtube, maybe his story can impact you positively.
You have to keep fighting, like Martin Luther King who in the face of death threats kept telling his message and dream. Like the POWs in Vietnam, who kept fighting to survive another day, like the Russians, Americans and allies who lost thousands and thousands of men fighting Hitlers evil Third Reich, keep up the fight (theres countless examples..), dont quit, live to see victory in your life.
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