At the current moment, I feel like blowing my fucking brains out of my skull. I have nothing going for me as of a week ago i was wonderful. I had worked hard to get a position of an internship at my local zoo as a keeper aide feeding the exotic animals and learning facts and whatnot. I loved it.I have also one college class i take that is 30 minutes out of town i go to every Tuesday and Thursday. If i didn't love the class so much i wouldn't bother driving out all the way there twice a week, But I do very much so. My parents have told me they would both help me pay for gas and school. Well they have not given me anything since i started. not a single fucking dime. meanwhile im having to pull money out of my savings to pay for my gas. THANKS MOM AND DAD. Plus i went through all the fucking retarded financial aid application only to get denied. So my parents are divorced my mom is in the process of moving into a new house in a new town while my dad has his house. I live in between both residences weekly. Both live 30 mins away from our home town, where my best friend, and my girlfriend and my future all live in the town called Roseville. So obviously i have a car otherwise I'd be totally fucked out of doing anything. Well heres where everything goes to shit.... Im sleeping early in the morning, my mom walks in my room and asks if she can borrow my car, hers isn't starting and shes going to be late for work. Me, being barely even conscious says yea its on the table and then go back to sleep. So i wake to learn that my car was reared ended on the freeway by a 72 year old woman going 50 miles an hour. Awesome. the damage appeared to be minor but when we go to get it repaired the estimated cost of the repairs is more than the worth of the car. so now they are going to give me $1300 for the car. okay fuck that! i just had a new stereo installed in costing $150, insuraunce isnt going to cover it. Now i have no transportation so i cant go to the zoo, cant go see my girlfriend who i hardly get to see before. So know i get to sit here with my thumb in my ass while the insurance company plan on how to fuck my life up and ensure i stay a worthless piece of shit my whole life while my car sits in the shop not being repaired and i lose my position at the zoo, my girlfriends cheats on me cuz i cant come see her, and i have no fucking job. not to mention my girlfriends underage so I am constantly at risk of going to prison any day all along with both my family and hers giving me shit for it every single waking second. So im stuck here in the ghetto central of california with my skateboard, empty wallet, a broken self esteem, and everyone in my family hating me for not having a job. Well fuck all of you.
peace going to go hang my self
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