random thoughts | | Posted by crazy. at April 26, 2010 | | Tags: Alcohol 2010 April Attitude |
i am an alcoholic. i am also 18 years old. thats right, im addicted to a legal substance that i cannot legally consume. ive been depressed all my life with brief 2 month periods of happiness every few years.. when they end i become suicidal. this time, the suicidal part got real. i tried to die. i then got "satisfied" with life, not happy but not suicidal.. kind of like im just forcing myself to be positive. i think im crazy. i want to kill somebody. i dont care who. i want to be crazy so i have an excuse to hate myself. i dont know why. im not sure whats going on in my head. i would never hurt anybody because i am just. i merely want the insanity that accompanies that. i wish i was a psychopath that didn't feel guilt or remorse. at least i wouldn't want to die. sometimes my thoughts race so much that i get dizzy. i get temporary blindness. why do they even want us to be alive? who cares if somebody kills themselves.. they've found a way to relieve the pain, isn't that what we all deserve? |
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Heres my email if your interested. It can be fun, ill even help you come up with a creative way to do it so you dont get caught!
vicovaludemerol@hotmail.com
actually just nice girls, nice in the inside and therefore in the outside aswell.
be friends, live ur lifes with more energy, go ahead and laught at ur problems, couse we all have them.
move on
There are people in the world with a lot less who are happy and content with what they have. Other people don't really make us happy or unhappy. They're just people.
Decide to be happy and work on it every day. Pray. Seek peace. Don't isolate yourself and focus on learning something challenging. Good luck.
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