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why

Posted by anonymous at January 31, 2012
Tags: Bad Luck  Health  2012 January

My story.......
I sit here reading your stories lying in a bed, praying for god to take the pain away, listening quietly to the radio. 4 yrs ago my life basically ended... on a summer night, I was on my way to work when all of a sudden I was struck by a drunk driver. Knocked out, I came to with the alcohol on his breath, saying thank god I didn't kill you. After his arrest, it was found out it was his 15th dui arrest and I was his first victim. Both cars were destroyed, but I got up, walking around like normal, thinking I was hurt but refused the ride to the hospital. At the urge of my husband I went the next morning to learn I had broken my neck and back. I was a walking miracle, I broke the bone in my neck right into my spinal cord. I shattered the bone right above the bottom of my spine..., 4 surgeries later, I have a new bionic neck, and more hardware in my spine than most. I have lost the ability to have children, ever. I have never had a day since the accident without pain.... and I am talking screaming, crying, begging for mercy pain. I have lost most of my memory, I don't remember my wedding day, or graduation, or parents funeral. All his because someone else made a mistake. I was just going to work. I can no longer have sex with my husband, I can no longer take a walk, swim,ride a bike, work, or go out to eat without loading up on oxycontin and morphine. I wear a body brace, have kids point and laugh, and people stare....'again not my mistake. I go in weekly for nerve burnings in my spine, facet blocks, caudel blocks, and epidural blocks. I can't pick up my dog, or my neice.... I watch my sister with her baby and know that will NEVER be me. There is a bully at work that makes fun of me, and just got someone to print out my Facebook page so they could all laugh
at me. I know th ings happen for a reason, but I can't figure it out. I started to test knives on my skin to find the sharpest one. I love my husband but I hate what I have turned into.


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Comments:
By anonymous at 14,Feb,12 20:51

wow, your story is heartbreaking. and those ppl making fun of you, how heartless and cruel. how evil. what goes around comes around. be strong. u cant question g-d, u survived. obviously you are meant to be in this world.


By anonymous at 14,Feb,12 23:01

Thank you for your story, it puts mine in perspective.

I wish I could caress your cheek because words are not enough.


By anonymous at 15,Feb,12 15:58

I would try for disability. Why should you have to work on top of all this? I hate alcoholics they are such selfish motherf--kers. Im surprised he stopped instead of driving away, then again there were probably witnesses.


By anonymous at 15,Feb,12 23:18

lord knows and has bigger plans for you, pray and you will see want he wants you to do in life....theres a meaning for this accident...god bless


By anonymous at 16,Feb,12 11:08

your story brings tears to my eyes. But I want you to know that you are the bravest woman I have ever met. Bad things happen in this world to good people, and vice versa. It isn't fair it's really shitty- but here's something to think about. YOUR ALIVE. you are a survivor, you stood up on your legs after that accident. People in this world who are cowardly and have low self-esteem lash out at others- your co-worker is a piece of shit and you should tell her that she really doesn't matter. Please i know the pain is harsh and you think knives are a release but its not. They add more problems. im sorry you lost your memories, why don't you try to remind yourself of them through pictures or scents. that usually helps jog memory. It also hurts to know you cant have children, but maybe your purpose means adopting with your husband? love is love no matter what form. Drunk driving is terrible, maybe you can help make people more aware of the consequences. there is purpose and fufillment to your life. You will find it someday :)
By anonymous at 16,Feb,12 18:49

Yeah call up some schools or talk to former teachers and see if you can be a guest speaker someday on the dangers of drinking and driving, maybe speak to the class with a former drunk driver. I was a guest speaker once and it is really fun and I'm a shy person!


By anonymous at 16,Feb,12 22:37

i am the original poster, and thank you for all of your comments, yes I am still here........
To my family going out on disability is considered a failure / a waste of society, i am trying to work in tremendous pain, and not add one more problem to my list.... my husband loves me and wants me to stop, but what little family I have left would consider me whale poo poo
I have tried to look at photos to remember the day, or person, and nothing, it is gone... I am still laying in the same bed listening to the same radio and just crying my heart out...... praying it gets better, why must I suffer for someone else mistake..... we have started nerve burnings, and unfortunately in the middle if treatment I have lost bladder control... because I wasn't in enough pain, we have added the embarasment of wetting my pants to it. Depends is not the ago booster I was looking for.
By anonymous at 17,Feb,12 19:48

If your family would look down on you THEY ARE NOT FAMILY and you don't need them at all! I hope you read this1 You do what you need to do to feel good again and dont let others opinions of you mean anything.. biologically related or not. If they would look down on you come on, they're shit. I hope you read this hunny because you don't deserve to suffer and you shouldn't have to work.
By anonymous at 17,Feb,12 19:49

oh and stop the nerve burning then, nerves can't be repaired thats sounds dangerous. Just take your pain meds and take it easy and do some physical therapy.


By anonymous at 17,Feb,12 15:07

Trust in Jesus. Matthew 11:29 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls".


By anonymous at 20,Mar,12 06:46

dear friend

Pls know that GOD will be there for you always .The human feelings that you have are there as we all ppl who have a flesh and have a heart.Please know GOD has plans for you.Pray that you will not take this accident as s sad thing but jst wait on the Lord.Ask him ,pray to him to give you strenght to help you out of this and he can he is able pray for a miracle from GOD if he can do it then he can very well do it now my friend .Pray ask till he gives you healing .He wil...trust this .

GOD bless u


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