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life is not for everyone

Posted by energizedmortal at January 31, 2012
Tags: 2012 January  Money

brother died in a violent car crash in 2005 he was 21 i was 19. I got home from college in 2008 and find out that both my parents lost their jobs. Now I'm 25 and sleep in the living room helping them pay the bills. I can't afford myself, a wife, kids, my own place. God forbid I be able to save or take a vacation. I'm sinking in student debt. I made enough mistakes that soon they will garnish my wages and I am better off not working and will probably walk into an ocean with weights in my jacket. Im very pale and skinny with yellow teeth. Even though most things and people in life are beautiful and admirable, it doesn't out weigh the horrors of life, terror, depression, and fear of continuing to endure chronic mental pain. Why should I live? To rat race a robotic dead meets end living with no opportunity to explore people or life because the economy and our leaders have failed. We all heard it before "just get more education and work hard to make whatever amount of money you want". Its bullshit and we all know it. Not everyone has the same capacity, wealth is regulated and concentrated and even if you do manage to get a great income you're probably never home or always stressed and can't really enjoy it. I do not have the imagination others have, I am not as strong minded, and worst of all I don't even want to try- i wish I did- I don't. Life just doesn't appeal or interest me anymore and I am ready to move on. I'm tired of living in a world of make believe where you can barely acquire your basic needs because everything is a greed game of have and have not's. Today I will end my misery once and for all. I will no longer be judged by a world that is no better or worse than me. I will no longer play these stupid "get a job die in poverty paying bills" games to barely have nothing. I will no longer be enslaved by a world that distributes resources unevenly. I will no longer be trapped in a world rotting of warfare, poverty, diseases, greed and corruption. Whatever allowed me to exist also allowed today, the day I will free my spirit from this body and world of shadows no matter what the consequences may be. i wish you all peace, health and fortune


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By anonymous at 14,Feb,12 23:55

I understand. Believe me. I feel like I know exactly how you feel, although you probably don't think anyone does. I don't believe people who commit suicide go to hell, but I don't think you should do it. Think of your parents. Do they deserve to lose another child? I'm sure you most likely won't take the advice of a stranger, but take comfort in the fact that their are people out there, perhaps on this site, who understand what your going through.

By matz crorkz at 23,Nov,14 14:14

Kz9qIp I am curious to find out what blog system you have been utilizing? I'm having some small security issues with my latest blog and I'd like to find something more safe. Do you have any suggestions?

By Kayli at 15,May,17 02:49

You MUST have been at Services Quebec or Revenu Quebec.I went through the same BS when I was at SQ.Waiting for A30 to be called and NO ONE SHOWED UP. ARG!!! Then this wild child came in&30230;…R#8;. honestly.

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