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I'm too young for this shit.

Posted by Cranky at January 31, 2012
Tags: Family  Health  2012 January  Relationship

I'm a female, just celebrated my 22nd birthday. A little over a year ago I left halfway through my 3rd year of college because I was having crippling panic attacks on a regular basis, which I thought was a sign that college wasn't the right choice for me. So I left, and moved into my sister's house at the other end of the country. She was there, her husband, he six kids, and my father. I had about a 2 grand in the bank, a car, a place to stay...just had to look for a job, life seemed pretty even and pretty possible. Panic attacks were gone too. But then I started having an affair with my sister's husband. The whole thing felt like a manic binge. No matter how much I hated him, myself, or the whole situation, I couldn't stop. Looking back I think I did it because I had all this anger built up in me. Needless to say this alienated me from that side of my family. Got a job in the city. Got a shitty apartment in a shitty part of town. Both in my town and at work I was the only white girl. Ran out of money. Moved in with my sister at the other end of the country. Fucked her boyfriend. Moved back in with my mother. Decided to go back to school at the other end of the country (back and forth). Got kicked out of the first place I was living in because of roommate trouble. Live in a dirty house with three strange men.
I pray that they leave me alone. They seem to, though I've got my eye on one who I can't get a good read on.
Since the panic attacks, I've hated life.
Since the affair, I've hated everyone.
This past week I haven't been able to stop eating.
My mother just informed me that she won't pay for college next year (my last fucking year of this shit - and I get fucking straight A's and work, it's not like I'm slacking off over here).
I have abnormal cells in my cervix and genital warts.
I've got this stabbing pain in my back.
Chronic headaches.
A ganglion cyst in my right wrist
How do I put this delicately..."disruptive digestive problems"
A thyroid condition I'm running out of medication for.
This terrible urge to punch anyone in the face who talks to me.
No friends.
Family is 2000 miles away.
No money.
Loan Debt.
Bad brakes on my car.
Now, my question is - do I have to succumb to first world guilt and say, "It could be worse," or is this truly a miserable situation?
I would trade all this shit I have, all the privilege of being white in America, trade all that shit just to have meaningful relationships and good health.


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Comments:
By anonymous at 14,Feb,12 23:33

1. I guarantee I have worse panic attacks than you and I finished college.

2. You f--ked your sister's man whom she had a family of six kids with. OMG

3. You are a terrible person. You need to admit that and apologize if you want your life to get better. Quit making excuses.


By anonymous at 14,Feb,12 23:35

OmG you f--ked both your sisters men? You did this TWICE?!!!! Have you no moral compass?! GTFO of here! Noone wants to hear you. People here have real problems, mainly from "people" like you.


By at 15,Feb,12 03:42

you have conducted yourself in a very ugly manner......you defiled the very people who trusted you, the very people who kept you off the streets.....now you're bitching because mommy won't float the bill for college????......are you serious????.....someone is in for an extreme reality check, you have proven yourself a disease to your family, a parasite to them in almost every way......i'm sure you know this at the end of the day, i'm sure you are ready to put all of this loose/absent moral behavior down and live differently.......there is a thing called "repentance", i suggest you look it up.....you will not have overnight success in changing your life, it will take time, you will have a long and tough road to healing not only yourself, but also your family ties, your selfish outlook, etc......but you must start somewhere.......change your heart and your wicked ways, there is still hope for you, accept that YOU have fallen onto the wrong path and that you'll never be happy living this way.


By anonymous at 16,Feb,12 11:42

You have no soul- all those things that happened to you are KARMA for being the world's worst sister, the world's most ungrateful daughter, and the whineist person alive. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED of your conduct bc that's what truly makes you so lowly and ugly. SECOND GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE ABOUT BEING WHITE, idk what your parents taught you, but being white in America is nothing! Minorities are the only ones who bust their backs to make America what she today- the land of the free and blending of many cultures! You are white TRASH if you think that youre color makes you superior to those who actually study and are rich from knowledge. I pity your existence, as does your whole family I'm sure.
By anonymous at 24,Feb,12 08:40

i don't see where she made some huge deal about being white......minorities are NOT the only ones who've ever done hard labor or busted their backs......you should study history a little more instead of listening to what CNN says......there were MANY white slaves, even after slavery was abolished, the punishment for crimes commited by whites in england was to be shipped to american soil to perform hard labor.....that's how my family name was started here, so fuck your little comment about minorities being the ONLY ones who busted their asses......the simple fact is you DON'T know what you're talking about, so now you look like a dipshit.....it's you who needs to study, i'll bet you think abe lincoln "freed" the slaves........fucking sensitive ass idiot.


By anonymous at 16,Feb,12 14:42

you would fuck a snake if it would hold still you rep what you sow


By anonymous at 26,May,12 00:25

you homewrecking whore
your so confused as to why those men aren't interested in you its because they can tell that you have been around more than the moon, filthy skank
girls going to college is like a monkey on rollerskates, it means nothing to them but its absolutely adorable to us.


By anonymous at 02,Jun,13 20:04

I have a daughter and sister just like you. They are crackhead ho's. Will have sex w/ any no-good guy regardless who he's involved with. I think you are a liar too. No way do I believe you have all those medical problems. When on earth do u find the time and energy to fuck? I have genuine hatred for your kind. You damage and destroy ppl's lives then your sorry ass make up lies to justify your evilness. That's what you are: AN EVIL BITCH


By anonymous at 02,Jun,13 20:27

have u ever been on an episode of CHEATERS?! They could tape 2 shows about ur slutty ass!


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