I'm not happy and I don't even know why. I've had a professional job in my industry since I was 19 yrs old. From 16-19, I had crappy food/retail jobs, but what teenager didn't? I had a full ride to college and got a double major computer science / mathematics degree. At 22, I moved to Vegas and got a job as a software engineer after 1 day of looking (luck?), and still work for the same place 9 yrs later. During that time, I worked my way up in the company to the point that I am now the GM of the entire business. I earned a finance MBA in the evenings and graduated with a perfect 4.0. I make 68k a year, and my living expenses are $1100-$1300/mth, so I save about 3 grand a month. At 32, I have 120k in cash savings in the bank. I own my z71 silverado truck. I've had several long term relationships with smart, beautiful women. I have at least 5 very close male friends I can talk to at any time, and a handful of girls I can call up to hangout with, go out with, or sleep with any time I want.
So why the f* am I unhappy? Most people would say I have the life. I honestly have no idea. I think I have a case of the Joneses and dwell on what I don't have:
- I don't own a house. To save money, I rent the master bedroom of a nice home out. I pay $450/mth for a very nice 400 sq ft room which includes utilities, high speed internet, and cable. The owner of the home is awesome, very mature and responsible, and doesn't give me an ounce of grief in any way. Still, I wonder if by now I should be owning my own property. I have enough saved to go pay cash for a decent place, but there's some sortof mental block preventing me from doing so (why?).
- I don't have a wife/gf. It seems the older I get, the harder it is to find decent, educated women to date. I suppose all of the good ones get taken. I have no problem getting laid, it's like taking candy from a baby, but most of the girls I get these days, while cute, aren't going anywhere great with their lives. I spend A LOT of time dwelling on failed past relationships, wishing I could go back to do them over again.
- Work - my credentials could probably earn me twice as much, but I continue to sell myself for 68k a year. Granted, I go into work at 9:30-10am and leave by 5, and spend most of the day talking to friends and goofing off, so most people would consider it a dream job. To me, I feel unchallenged, unmotivated, and bored with it.
My health is in great shape, though I'm about 20lbs overweight. I think my body looks disgusting, even though I'm considered "thin" by American standards.
On paper, it makes no sense that I'm so dissatisfied with my life. I'm pretty sure I'm batshit crazy for feeling this way given my current life position. I know a lot of people would feel very lucky to be me. Still, I don't think it's all that great. | |
Work - look for something more challenging or fulfilling. YOu have plenty of cash, why not work overseas for a few months in India, Nepal or somewhere else. I did that once and came back revitalised at what a great life I have and feeling great with all the good work I did.
School - maybe look at doing some extra courses in something that interests you or might get you a different job
Physical/health - step it up, get healthy by eating fresh food, doing a bit of exercise and getting outdoors more
Life in general - stop sleeping with nobody women, if you're serious about finding someone special, start looking and drop the excess women. The good ones find that a turn off
Good luck!
U seem like a perfectionist. be happy. u have a LOT compared to so many others.
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