A sad love story. I don't know what I'm trying to achieve here...I have no one to talk to about this stuff so maybe I just want someone to hear me out. I'm a 25 year old guy, the typical "nice" guy (and I hate it). I used to like this girl back in high school. I never did anything abt it because I lacked self-confidence. She was out of my league, the definition of beauty. A few years later, however, we started dating. I fell in love so hard. I never believed in love, but she made me realize that it exists. I did everything in my power to make her happy, and I sincerely wanted her and wanted her forever. I'm a dreamer. 3 years later, she decided that I was no longer suitable for her. She said we had fundamental differences even though we didn't!! But no matter how much I tried to argue, she wouldn't listen. She had made up her mind. She got stonecold overnight, acted like she doesnt even know me. She said she's sorry but this has to be done. She left me there that night, crying, confused...I didnt know wat happened. This was a month ago. I can't get over her. I'm f*cking tired of crying, trying of being weak. I just donno wat to do. I have lost all purpose in life. I just loved her too much.
Now, I can't work because my work requires focus and attention. I'm stressed out because I may lose my job any day now. I have lost all my friends because I had made her my only friend ( i know it's my mistake ). Now I really donno where to turn, what to do...
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I did some "half assed" attempts to win her attention but nothing that really got through, so I let it go (or so I thought...). I tried to get her out of my mind but she was there to stay. So I decided that I was gonna re-build myself. For 2 years straight I kept her in my mind and worked out and just did things that was good for me (Socializing and working out). So when I believed I was strong enough I contacted her and we started talking. I guess we had something good going for a while but then like what happend to you, she became a brick wall. From that moment on it's been nothing but downhill. I havn't been myself ever since.
They way you're describing your feelings, I know what that feels like because I've been there. Hell, for a long period of time I didn't even want to get up in the morning because I knew that we would only meet in my dreams. And I used to cry myself to sleep. Anyways I still feel this way for her, it's just that I've realized we won't ever be together because she doesn't want to have anything to do with me. So here I am 3 years later, about to turn 19. I still feel the same way about her and I can't even imagine feeling the same way about anyone else. I know that if I let myself, I would be able to go back to being depressed and making my life worse than it already is. My life havn't changed in anyway, but the thing is I just WONT let myself do that anymore.
Look, my point is in all this is that even though everything sucks so badly. Don't allow it to overcome you. I believe that it will work out if you give it all the time it takes to get by (no matter how long that might be).
You mention you lost touch with your friends. If there was any of them that you connected to (or any other person you trust) you should get in touch with them and hold these people close to you. Life is just too short... And when you feel like it, you gotta let all of this out on somebody (and I mean every single thing you feel sad about). After that you can start to re-build youself.
I wish you the best of luck in life!
//A fellow broken hearted man
and trust me, this too will pass. it will all change. Just try and do what you can to direct it in a positive way :)
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