Just a little istsy bitsy rant, who cares, right?
Mom and dad divorced when I was 8 months old, big freaking deal, it's the most normal things nowadays.
Mom struggled a lot to raise me. She's a smart, hard working lady. She's also an alcoholic. Can't blame her, though.
While she worked, I had to stay somewhere, right? She thought I'd be safe in my aunt's house. I wasn't. My aunt's husband was a sick motherf*ck*r. Actully, a childf*ck*er. I was too freaking young to even understand how disgusting that was. By the time I realized it, I just decided I would ignore it, that I couldn't let it ruin my life. Children are so naive ='(
Then, mom married a younger guy. He was good to her, but didn't really made a difference in my life. I kinda felt left out, but wtf, he made my mom 'happy', so I was ok with it.
I was always timid, but I could fake well, which meant no-one noticed me, I am your regular, average person.
The significant relationships I had, with men, were abusive. What a cliché. Then I decided abusive no more.
Went out to college, then university, but it was all ordinary. Found a job, supported myself. Hard and ordinary, but, alright.
Now I'm married, he's an awesome, respectful, great guy.
I'm still the same ordinary idiot, I hate myself and even though I don't have the courage to put an end to it, I also don't have the guts to change this situation.
Not asking for sympathy, answers, whatever, not really. I gave up on myself a while ago. Thanks for reading. | |
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