Ive been married for 7 months now and i can never seem to be happy for more than a day. My husband basically makes himself the center of attention in the bedroom. he doesnt understand that i dont like certain things and everytime i try to tell him how i feel(after about a week of crying over the things he has me do) and he tells me that if i dont like the things he wants me to do i need to seriously consitter who im with. it would be alot easier if he hadnt made me quit my job 10 months ago to stay at home and if we didnt have two kids. i cant leave the house for more than 2 hrs without ending up in a fight with him because either i was out to long or i neglected to tell him that i went to the bar 2 buildings down from the one i was just at (im not a heavy drinker i only go once every 3 months on account that my husband is always doing stuff with his friends or we dont have the money) i cant ever tell him if anything is bugging me because he doesnt want to talk about it. his reason? because he asked a couple months ago and i was to upset to want to talk about it then. im always at home with the kids. i havent even been allowed to see a friend in the last month and a half. when my grandma died we went to the funeral and he spent the next hour telling me how i was a horrible person for having him go with me. i guess it really is my bad tho. he didnt even want to see her let alone know what a sweet old lady she was. he ranted about that 2 days before she died. theres no compromise. im not allowed to get a job let alone get my g.e.d. because hes to busy buying his gun holsters and other toys. and to top it all off im still 40 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight and no matter how much i watch my diet and work out... its not going away... i hate my life. i keep trying to prepaire to get out.. and then everything shatters to peices. i cant stay with any family cause no one lives on this side of the state. and my van is to much of a p.o.s to make it. and no one else has room... things werent always like this... when we got married its like someone flipped a switch.. the night we got married i tried to have fun... and as soon as i did i was pulled away and yelled at.. i thought it was just cause he was drunk... guess not | |
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Oh well. Ny daughter is now 27 years old and we're both happy. Have the courage to love yourself and feel that you deserve the best life has to offer.
the point is no one has to make up their mind about this woman's life except her.....and she needs advice on how to go about making a potentially life changing decision involving things that could haunt someone for the rest of their days.....please consider this next time you post comments on this site.....OBVIOUSLY there are things missing in this marriage like COMMUNICATION, RESPECT, BECOMING ONE, COMMITMENT, TRUST just to name a few.....have any one of these commentors even remotely tried to bring this to light?......do you commentors really think your blanket statements of "throw them all away, men are scum" have ever fixed anyone's situation or even given them hope.....enough said
to the OP, there are most likely local churches in your area that would be happy to provide free marriage counseling to you and your husband......if he refuses to go, you can go yourself and i promise it will do you some good just to be able to talk to a trusting ear.....your husband has shown a lack of communication with you, this doesn't make him garbage, maybe he needs to be shown the way......there is nothing in this world more powerful or convincing than a wisdom loving woman who carefully and patiently takes someone by the hand, shows him how to love, how to be devoted, how to be calm and smile, and guides them onto the right path......it's not your fault that he is the way he is, we men truly are savage in nature, compared to how women are......never believe him or anyone else who tells you that it is your fault, you are married now, it's no one's fault, but both your's problem to conquer together....i can honestly say that the power to fix this truly resides in you, you can do it, but it all hinges on if you even want to save this marriage.....and that decision belongs to you, not a bunch of bitter old women who will remain mad at the world because a long time ago, their "Billy Bob" didn't act right.
(if things don't go your way, just ditch people, it's ok to divide a family, trash the ones you found love with, no one can be taught, it's too much work to love, i always heard marriage was something you have to work at - well NO it's not, if he doesn't worship you constantly then he is garbage, give me what i want how i want it or i'll shit on my vows, there are no solutions, cut anyone's throat who isn't allowing you to be happy, etc., etc., etc.)
i am amazed you women's lack of understanding and your non-existent respect or search for wisdom......i am very happy to not know any of you.
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