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Where'd all the fun go?

Posted by UsedToHaveFun at January 19, 2012
Tags: 2012 January  Mistakes

I used to be just fine. I feel like a real ass even writing on here. My parents never hit me. They're supportive and still together. I got my BA and graduated a few years ago. Junior high, high school and college were fine. Good student, not great (never had any motivation in anything), and had enough friends to see me through all the shit that life seems to pile so well. Then I left everyone and everything I loved behind and followed a girl I loved out to California after I graduated. She was nice: she gave it 3 months before she dumped me for no reason. I've been here 3 years and have already had 4 different jobs. I can't find what I want to do. I have no motivation now during my shitty job hunt. I got a DUI this past summer and so now I have no money for rent, and I"ll have to sell my car. I'm living with a girl I'm not crazy about and I think the feeling's mutual. I have no friends where I live and the few I've made out here are already on to other things. I don't sleep. I don't eat. The sex I rarely get seems to be getting worse and it wasn't that hot to begin with. I smoke more now than ever and, no shit, it just started raining when I have to take her fucking dog out.
I used to be fun. People used to like hanging out with me. I used to have enough money for rent and to scrape by, but now I have more debt than I've ever had and absolutely no way to pay it off. My brother and sister are in successful marriages with great people. They all have nice jobs and kids and houses and I can't even keep a car that's all paid off or make rent in the fucking ghetto. I'm starting to hate myself. Nothing keeps my attention anymore. No one seems interesting to me and I'm sure I'm no longer interesting to anyone, too. I don't like anything anymore. I used to be passionate about things, and now I don't give a shit about anything or anyone. I think I'm going to start giving more money to homeless panhandlers since it seems I'll be one of them soon. Too bad I don't believe in Karma. Too bad I didn't make anything of myself, I was told I had a lot of potential.


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Comments:
By anonymous at 07,Feb,12 21:06

Your life sounds like mine, only I stayed for the man that said he loved me. Through our relationship I supported him emotionally when he was having a tough time with his company, then I was released from my job. Out of the blue he dumped me because he felt responsible for keeping me from acheiving my potential but still wanted to remain in my life "just to know what happens to me". I've been unemployed for 3 months. Everyone keeps telling me how smart and great I am but I feel like I no longer have purpose and hate life. I have no words of wisdom for either of us.
By anonymous at 08,Feb,12 05:23

I'm sorry to hear this, I'll say a prayer for you. I wish I could give everyone who needs help a hug and a listening ear. I hope things start to get better for you..


By anonymous at 07,Feb,12 23:13

There's no need to apologize. Life wears on people in relatively fortunate circumstances as well.


By anonymous at 08,Feb,12 00:30

Unfortunately only you can change your life. Try different jobs until you find one that you like. I think you would feel better if you actually made your own money and didn't have to live off of anyone. You don't need to have a girlfriend and who cares if you don't have sex for a year. You need to take a good look in the mirror and figure out who you are and what you want. You seem to want someone else to make you happy but only you can do that.


By at 08,Feb,12 03:18

What you need is motivation. Get into a hobby like working out, pc gaming, guitar or music, something before you become a low-life!


By anonymous at 08,Feb,12 03:50

so many people have been in your situation and i think i know exactly how u feel, hating complaining about this bulshit but when everything hits u at once it snowballs and it seems so much worse. whatever you decide to do, things will change. its only a matter of time. do things to make yourself happy. knowing yourself is key to everything. look in your heart put everything else aside and do whatever little thing you feel like doing to be happy right now. will what you want into existance. i know it sounds dum but when you get it you appreciate it more cause you said it aloud. a year ago i was happier than id ever been. and then my bf of 3years dumped me, i lost my job, a family member died, i got sick and couldnt work for 3 months, i made a dum decision and moved to a strange town with a boy and so lost contact with my friends. i got bills in everything possible because i tried to hide from life for a while... my pets got killed. wrote my car off. all in a few short months. now i have had so many amazing experiences while trying to change my life and i truely have never been happier. i really hope everything goes well for you. things will get better but its your decision how soon that happens


By anonymous at 08,Feb,12 05:07

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
By anonymous at 09,Feb,12 09:44

ugh, why so people always use religion as a coping mechanism?!?!?! god is not real, wake the ^&%$ up!


By anonymous at 08,Feb,12 05:15

My son, pay attention to what I say; turn your ear to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to one’s whole body. Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Proverbs 4:22-26


By anonymous at 08,Feb,12 05:19

Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor. Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her; those who hold her fast will be blessed. Proverbs 3:13-18


By anonymous at 16,Feb,12 11:02

Do NOT give up. Have you reached to your family and see if there is anything they can do to help you. You need a clean start, that will do you so much good I know it will. Reach out to your family.


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