I guess my story starts before I was born my mom was a crack head had it not been for my grandma walking in the bathroom and seeing blood all through the tub I probably wouldn't be here.When I was 8 months my grandma lied to get custody of me which was good cause the doc. said if I would have went one more day with no milk I may not have made it again.When Iwas 4 and I will never forget this I seen my dad for the first time he found were my grandparents lived and showed up 4 christmas w/an ariel barbie my family met him at the door with a gun in his face telling him he was not allowed to see me he left the doll on porch I got to watch it burn later being told I didn't need nothing for him.When I was 10 I had started to realize that I must have been holding my grandma back from living her life.So I was given to her parents to take over custody I loved them so I had pretty much been raised by them most my life any ways but my grandpa had emphasima and my grandma had really bad diabeties she had a glass eye because of it all together had 6 kids but my sis/aunt was who toke care of them.My grandpa got hospitalized mean while his kids sold everything otu from under him and my grandpa came from italy and started a potatoe chip factory which later sold to some high company.He would go into commas but allways came out but 1 time the kids finally said that they were pulling the plug while he was in one.a fight broke out between my sisters and me against his kids but there was more of them so they pulled the plug my grandpa died that night.they toke my grandma and stuck her in this little guest house way in the back of one of her sons yard knowing she had to take specail care wouldn't let my sis help her because of the hospital insident.She died exactlly 2weeks after my grandpa who died 1yr 2weeks earlier.Thats wen it went down hill my grandma got custody back because of her parents death but didn't really want me but didn't want people to look at her wrong so she would start fights with me so not only would her exhusband my grandpa take me but I would get ridiculous beatings to the point when the neighbor called dcf because she seen me come literally flying out the front door hit a car the got pulled back in by my hair.back then it was ok to hit your child as punishment.I moved all the time going to all kinds of schools.I dressed weird so I was all ways first to blame(example:columbine happened I was living in the keys I got to take a cop ride home and suspened following that I be evaluated because they that I might do the same thing.I was raped @ 13 wen I went to a party and passed out not only that while I was passed out a girl I had gotten into a fight with a week earlier showed up & seen me wen I woke up in horrible pain I noticed that my hair didnt come with me she toke sissors and pretty much shaved my head except bangs(my family didnt cut are hair it was a big thing my hair was pretty much 2 me knees)I GO HOME get my ass beat again for my hair this time.It was so bad wen I went to stores with my family they would walk isles away & pretend I was some crazy stranger if I came up to them in public.I moved out I was 14 w/a38yr old boy friend I worked three jobs because my man didnt want to work no more.He told me to go get milk one night late he said he didnt feel good I lived in real bad neighborhood I weighed 98pds Im small but went I got held up @ gun point coming back thank god is was nice enough to help his guy out a couple times with cig. and some spare cash if I could he stopped them.When I got back scared shitless over what I just went through to find out I got locked out because I told my man no drugs so he locked me out so he could do them.I left him called a girl I know through family she wasn't related she let me stay there with her and her husband I thought everything was going to be good now.I wake upwith her husband hand over my mouth raping me she walked in on it and got mad at me through me out with nothing I pressed charges to find out that she was giving him an allubia & me being told by every1 in court I was a liar.21/2yrs later he was convicted of raping his 2yr. & for having coke in her system.If only they did something sooner mean I was homeless but I was 16 I had got my ged at 15 and already did some colledge by 16 but got w/another loser I worked all kinds of jobs even scrap yard.but I was renting a beautiful condoe that I didn't really see but 2 sleep & change $2,000 amonth but i got hurt & was drug threw a race trck by a horse there went the condo I got a trailer and lived off wat I saved I went back to work & came home early 1 day to find my man not only w/a female but a male too. I got acouple of friends w/trucks and loaded up.that is wen I meet my next loser this one was the worst he would beat the hell out of me even while I was prego. w/my first child.My second child I went into labor 41/2 months early and waited for him for 10 hrs. so I could get to hospital to be dropped off & wen I was able to be discharged I called him I was told to get a cab.I put up with it 4 almost 81/2 yrs.Then while I was living in the trailer I bought and poperty wen I was 16yrs.By a strange happening my supposed friend who I was taking care ofs kids threw a party i didn't know about the next day I couldn't find her as usual and my a/c broke in the hottest time of summer all these people I knew wouldn't help but her cousin who I met for the 1st time the night before not only spent almost all day trying to hunt down parts but stayed out there in the heat to fix an a/c for someone he didn't know well I went to bring m friends kids to her @ her parents house because it was to hot in mine I find not only her but my man for the last 81/2 yrs which wasnt that bad he was an asshole.But I got home still upset to pretty just break down to stranger fixing my a/c.But its almost 3yrs. later and he is still here hasn't left since that party & has gone through hell from my ex to were we had to get a restraining order.But I had finally felt something from & for someone I had never felt really love.Now I didn't say my luck changed bad stuff all ways seams to happen but finally feeling that love and knowing I got 3 gorgeus boys 5,4,3. and own what I got I wouldn't mind if this is as good as it ever gets because I know it's all ways going to be a dark cloud of luck that follows me.BUT MY MEN IN MY LIFE NOW ARE WHAT KEEPS ME GOING.Because if not I probably wouldnt have made it to this age going to be turn 26.and still ticking up. | |
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