i'm gonna skip the boring parts that really started my life to be fucked up and get right to the good stuff
i was an asshole in school and got kicked out at 16, i went to charter school for a few months got like 9 credits then got in a fight with my teacher, got kicked outta that school too, so i just got my G.E.D said fuck it, started partyin it up doin a lot of oxy and shit, and honestly thats when life wasn't that bad, i had friends and i didn't feel like i was a piece of shit, but then my mom sent me to jail for drugs i got out a month later, started using again she sent me back in for another 4 month sentence.. jails easy as shit just long and boring, and the fake as correctional officers (security guards if you ask me) just make the situation worse, the inmates are all fuck ups just like me so it was like meeting a differen't fuck up version of myself with everyone i met. when i got out i stopped using drugs and tried just chillin with my friends like back in the day, but they all started actin shady towards me so i said fuck it left everybody and just started drinking by myself, i spent a few months being drunk every day and finally it caught up with me only being 19 and drinking everyday gets the cops on your ass quick in a small time. i got picked up on a fourth offense drinking and second offense possession of marijuana charge, i got 1203 dollor fine so i spent another month paying that off 50 dollors a day in jail. i got back out and things were loooking good i started talking to a few girls one thing lead to another i ended up pickin this girl up i kinda had a thing for, well we were chillin at her place and her ex boyfriend and two of his friends come in and jump my ass, of course my pants are around my ankles and i'm thinking fuck this can't get any worse for me, but of course it does. i end up gettin away from them and i just ran out the front door, luckily i grabbed my shoes on the way out because i had to walk for a good two miles before i got a ride back to my home town. i had no shirt on and it was getting close to winter, (i live in new hampshire) cold as fuck.
so all this shit's happened and now i have no friends, no girl, no job, no drugs, no beer, and the whole time i never thought this shit was gonna happen to me, when i was a younger kid i used to be captain of my hockey team, i played all sports, i've always had mad girls and a lot of friends, but not anymore, i still play hockey thats the only thing i have going for me, and that's just keeping me in shape.
my whole mind has changed i can't walk into a room of people with out feeling a lot of pressure and anxiety, i'm a walking nut case now i never know how to take people or what they say, i have a horrible reputation for myself, and honestly i hate myself for that, and the fact i've gone so far down hill, but now everyones turned there backs on me and shut the door so i just say fuck it and keep doing shit..
thats a half ass version of my life, it's not all bad though, i got sick tattoos i've done crazy shit some people never will, i've experienced some things that made me realize what life is, but it's to hard to push through all the bad shit i'm not gonna do it anymore, and if anyone reads this shit and feel the same way i don't blame you for wanting to end it
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Even though he had the toughness to live in jail on and off without having his head fucked up, but that was not enough to safe him-self from destruction.
What really got him was his parents who called the cops on him, was the thirst for his many addictions that can't be fillfiled, and was the fact that people just don't find druggie and alcoholic acceptable.
Had he got supportive parents who think in his shoes and see through his eyes, and the freedom to intoxicate him-self all he like, he may be still paying taxes in years to come. Now he is less than a memory to others.
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