i just dont know who should i turn to. my parents getting divorce and my sister x love me at all. my family was never happy all this while. well honestly, i gv up with them few years ago. i hate my dad, for some reasons. my mum never understands me. they controlled everyting, including my future. now that im bigger, i stands for myself n nvr let them take in charge of my life. i think i kinda hurt them n i feel bad about it.
i have bf, he loves me 2 years ago, but now it seems like he dun love me at all. he has lots of pretty girl- friends and i know he never cheated on me. i love him so much and becoz of his support, i able to stand up and fight. but, one of his girl- friend fell in love with him, even she denies it, but i know. i know the way she looked at him, the way she put her status everytime he was with me. she spreads rumours about me to his family, until they all hate me- even they never meet me before! i told him dat if he loves her, he can just leave me coz i dun want to argue about it. but he refuses to let me go. she also spread rumours about me in college, and everyone looked at me like i owe them, like i don't deserve to exist in the world. i dont hv any friends that i can trust, coz they tends to tell others about my story and talks behind my back. i only had him, but now, he seems so far away from me. how i wish i can tell him how i feel, coz each time i told him to, he never listen to me and said that i x trust him. i feel bad now. i am very lonely. i cry almost everyday. i also diagnosed with depression 2 years ago. suicide? definately crossed my mind thousands of time.
i just wanna share this, as i keep it in my heart for so long. i have no one to turn to.. | |
It is not worthy to be pessimistic about your life over people like that. i know it hurts a lot, it is difficult to move on like nothing happened, but, it is time to focus on you, yourself. sometimes we have to talk with ourselves, realize what exactly we want to do in the future, without pressure from anyone. try to gain confidence, do something you are interested, focus on career. girl, I tell you right man will come along. you never know!!!
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