I know there are stories that are far worse in this archive, but I'm just so tired and don't know what else I'm to do. At this time I'm 18 years old. I wish I'd never had a boyfriend because, you can't really miss what you've never had. And I almost feel like I've ruined something. The only boyfriend I ever had was when I was 14. He was really nice, attractive and we did some sexual things, but we weren't really clicking so I broke it off. I thought after this time, (realizing that someone out there could like me) that, like most people, someone else would come along. Never happened.
I've been single since and I think I'm a stepping stone. 1. Guy I had a huge crush on - we were friends, and it seemed like something was about to happen - he fell in love with my friend, I think it's their 2 year anniversary now. 2. Guy I kissed. Two weeks later he found a girlfriend and never spoke to me again. 3. Another guy I made out with. Asked out my friend out the next day. 6 month anniversary. 4. Guy I had a crush on - girlfriend, still going out, you know the drill.
The point is that I feel so alone, deprived, all of my friends speak of love, and I feel like people skip over me to get where they need to be. Oh and that first boyfriend went out with a girl a week after we broke up, they're still going out. Now I'm afraid of developing feelings for anyone, ever, because they'll find someone else. I'm getting used to it. But it's still pretty upsetting. I'm tired of crying over these people that I still have to see everyday because they date my friends. It's shit. | |
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