LIFE SUCKS

Everythings crashing around me

Well, where to begin? Okay so today was my birthday, and my husband woke up in one of his rages and hit me in front of my kids. I'm stuck in this house with 2 cars that barely run, neither of us have worked in a year and this is due to car problems, family members that don't care and CAN help, or family members who do care but CAN'T help. I have no money. Not for rent, utilities, or a title payment for our truck that we need (even though someone deliberately removed the bolts from the rear calipers, great, huh? evil neighbors and another long story behind that). I found out last year that I have lupus. I've been in 2 car accidents in the past year, and am dealing with a husband who is trying to quit drugs. I feel like blowing my brains out today, but I know I won't do it, I just say it. I hate my life and believe me, the first chance I get, I WILL change it. I just haven't figured it out yet. I feel helpless. I live too far to just walk to the store or anywhere. I just want to scream and wake up from this nightmare.