well im not sure were to start, but i have being suffering from ocd depression anxiety since i was a kid, it all started when i was 6, i grew up in a shit hole of a town i had a fight with dis kid then after that i was bullied daily for 4 years till we moved i was afraid to leave the house or go to school with out getting beat up or tormented even when i did fight back it continued and i just rember thinkin how can dis happin to a six or 7 years old how couldnt the parents stop it,i couldnt sleep at night or be left in the dark u realise now 20 years later that was the first start of my general anxietythen we finally moved house it was the happiest day of my life it was ok for a few months then my ocd kicked in,i still remember the i got a disturbing tought in my head that if i sold my soul to the devil in my mind it would happen i stared to do rituals to distract my self i couldnt get the thought of my head i finally told my parents after months of mental tourture and panic and they never brought me to see a doctor, i was only 10 years old after that i just pretending it wasnt happening even though dis thought were tearing me apart night and day,a 10 year old dosent know wtf ocd is they just think i better not tell anybody even though it was affecting me, and then the bulligg stared again nearly i dentical to what happened years before but now 10 times worse they guy that was bully mestared hanging out with my fdriends turned them against me i was beated up on the way to school afrid to leave the house to ashamed to tell anyone dis group of pll completley destroyed my life and they dont even know it, then i develped social anxiety i was afraid to leave the house at 16 yrs of age and what really killed me was that 2 years before i could get one with anybody i had friends pll liked me but dis group of pll destroyed it , anxiety was so bad id have a panic attack just being around ppl could talk with out plushing heart racing and stuttering i had to leave high school becuase of it and ppl just think iwas a drop, not realising was good in school before all dis shit happened , that complety crushed my soul i got depressed was suicidal for years ,then it got a little better i got help i finally found out i had ocd and anxiety from when i was a kid,its actually a relief to find out what is actually wrong with you,but the medication didnt work it just made me a zombie killed my sex drive made me do fucked up things when i drank on it and i still had the anxiety and ocd ive never had a girlfriend i cant hold a job im back living at home my father torments me knowing the pain im inm i just keep asking myself why didnt you get me help as a child, they treat me like an embarreesment little do they realise ive being tormened my entire life ,dis is a cdark world, theres is hope ive recently found a cure fore my anxiety its called the linden method im not sure ive it will work for everyone but its worth a shot no one deserves to live dis, i just wanna move somewere and start over and forget my family and so called friends i deserve it. | |
Christ knows ive lived with the same shit for all of my life, the same as you, maybe not quite as bad as yours by the sound of it though. I do know that the good days are few and far between, and the true friends are very hard to find as well. Ive tried many things myself and am still trying even though i figure it may be time to give it up after all these years of trying without any result, that becomes very disheartening and the other people dont understand that. They say shit like: 'oh dont give up, thats the soft option,' or ' things will get better ' or ' you have to stop whingeing and help yourself.' All of it useless advice coming from people with no comprehension of the hands we have been dealt, and would surely crumble themselves if exposed to the same amount of pressure in our lives, maybe less.
Anyway, i have not heard if the linden method, but i should research that. I wwish you all the best for your future.
Best regards.
If you ask for forgivness for your sin and accept Jesus as Lord and Saviour you will have LIFE, eternal life. Those hard times don't seem so hard when you have Eternity in mind. Jesus will help you, care for you, change you (and your life). His love is everlasting, no matter what sins or garbage you've been, in he will forgive you, and love you with love that can't be compared. What do you have to lose? atleast give it a shot. God exists, big bang theory my ASS what created the darn thing? God did. God uses the weak, the powerless, the hurt and the lonely in GREAT ways. Heres a word from Jack Graham: A potter will take a helpless, lifeless lump of clay and then knead it and squeeze it until it's soft and pliable. And then when he gets it just right, he takes that piece of clay and he does something called throwing, where he places the clay on a spinning table.
And as that clay is placed upon that turning wheel, the potter's hands then begin to pressure the clay and work it until he makes something beautiful out of that old ugly piece of clay.
Here's the lesson God wanted Jeremiah to hear: He is the true master craftsman. He is a potter who is making something beautiful out of every life. He will take the old ugly mistakes and sins and make them into something completely new!
When you truly know God, you can live victoriously! So whatever the ugliness is in your life, be assured that through the blood of Christ, God molds you and makes you into something beautiful!
There are thousands if not millions of people that can testify to jesus saving and changing them (and their life for the better!).
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