LIFE SUCKS

Someone please read...

So I guess, I should start... The story of me life... And how bad I think it is. To start with, I would like to introduce myself. Im 19 years old guy living in Europe,not far away from Sweden. My weight is only 50 kilograms,and I'm 1‘82 meters long,so I‘m very slim... And very weak... School was very hard for me,and I started going in it late... I have only two
friends, and my father and mother are divorced, mother has no job and lives with me at grandmothers house. Its not the house,its 3 room apartament... We live in it with my grandfather,mother,grandmother and our dog... Only grandfather has job,but he's very old,and i want to help him but can't. I tryed to find work,but no one needs weak guy,without any of studies accomplished. My face is full of zits,and teeth is yellow. I know i will never,have a girlfriend because i can't have sex, i know its probobly funny for you,but I'm guy without that thing.. And there is no medicine for that or even if there is something,i can't afford it,neither anyone of my family... I cry every day about this,and want to suicide, i tryed but. mother stoped me... My father is rich,and he's living with other woman,they have other kid.. He never cared me,he left us... I'm not smart,I'm basically dumb,and dream about having my own business one day,like running few banks,beeing CEO of them,but its just dream,I just want to leave something at this life after me,but can't,i cant have children,can't be loved,need to take care of mother,i don't know what to do,i just want everything to finnish... I think I'm to old to
become that person
i want,and don't know how to start and where to,i feel so alone, i want to be loved like other people,i want to have my own family,oh god... help me please,should i suicide or what....?? i think i am not needed for this life..... but I'm to weak to kill myself... I want to day with no pain...