i just hate my fucking life! | | Posted by anonymous at December 20, 2011 | | Tags: Anxiety 2011 December |
hi, my name is marie.
im 16 and i used to have a perfect life. im an illegitimate child but that doesnt stop me from having the fullest of life. i was popular at school, i have an amazing talent and i really have a high god damn grades. i had so many friends and i had the most gorgeous boyfriend. i felt like i was on the top of the world that time until one day my friends strted talking wrong shits about me all over the school. students then would discriminate me and all that shits. my bestfriend since preschool wouldnt talk to me and my teachers too have that grudge to me for no apparent reason makes me really wanna kill them. what makes it worse is that my father who hadnt showed up since i was born came back. i thoght it was gonna be okay but then it turn out that he was.only asking my mum for money.
i then had an anxiety disorder. im scared of all the people around me. im terrified of the thoughts of having gossips about me. damn! im afraid of everything. now, i stop going to school. and this anxiety also stopped me from dancing. and now i turn out to be pregnant. shit! shit! shit! i wanna kill myself. im afraid to tell this to my mum. i dont have any friends. me and my boyfriend got into a huge fight. and im stuck in this fucking situation. |
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and the other stuff.... seems like a good episode of mtv's 16 and pregnant?
To be honest with you, I miss my wife and children tremendously. After coming home from the war, she and I were never really able to reconnect. It is painful thinking about what we had together at one time, seeing where we are today. Especially with our two sons. I miss them all so much.
I guess what I'm trying to relay on to you is that being 16 and pregnant may seem totally overwhelming, but really I would consider yourself to be lucky. Your mother may be angry at first, but man... would I do anything to have just one more night holding my son... rocking him to sleep. I am envious of you actually.
Your life will certainly be harder, no doubt. But you will learn that life is not about yourself. It is about the ones you love. Your mother. Your child. A man who loves you for who you are and nothing else. When this lesson finally hits home, you will realize just how lucky you truly are. I wish you the best of luck. Hang in there; with time, it will get better. Promise.
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