LIFE SUCKS

My life..

So, I live in this crapcountry in europe ( I won't name it) I'm 15 years old, I go to school, I pretty much passed maths and chemistry last year by connections. Right now I get okay grades, but maths is too fucking retarded for me to understand ( or I am too retarded for it) mainly geometry is the hardest for me and all the formulas. So here comes the real shit, last summer we had roaches due to my mother and father never cleaning after themselves, my mom lets the dishes sit in for 2/3 days then bothers to clean them, but that's in the past now due to me spending about an hour in the kitchen, cleaning the place.We no longer have those dreaded insects and I hope it stays like that for the rest of my life. They never bothered to throw out the old crap that was in it, since my mother lived in it since she was born.. We've lived here for more than 20 years and the only repairs it's had was the kitchen, and a room that wasn't used at all, is now mine, and my sister's. All the rooms have old wallpapers except my room, they say it's too expensive to remove them and paint the walls. The hallway has this crappy cement on it, not with tiles, only the kitchen has, the toilet and bathroom have tiles too, and yeah they are separate rooms. In the other rooms there are old ass wooden tiles or w/e. They don't intend to make any bigger repairs since the apartment belongs to my mother grandfather AND my uncle. My dad doesn't want to spend a buck on this apartment because it's not his, and his apartment is old and crappy and some guys have rented it for the small amount of 100 bucks..At least they recently changed the windows in the living room and the new PVC ones are really nice..My sister is really lucky since shes 24 and passed trough this hell. She is getting a bachelor degree or something soon etc, been to america made a lot of money and is happy with her boyfriend living in the capital in a nice new apartment, it might be rented but still. So I'm so fucking tired of spending an hour in the kitchen to clean up after my father who cooks very well but makes a huge fucking load of trash after he's done. I can't take this crap anymore they refuse to clean up after themselves and If I stop the roaches will probably be back. I don't have a girlfriend even though I'm a really attractive guy, I'm not fat, I have big green eyes and an attractive face but I guess I'm too much of a nice guy to attract a girl, since they like the popular bad boys etc.

I've thought of suicide many times, but I won't do it, I always look towards a brighter future and hope for the best even though my life is pretty bad. I can only hope that I get motivated enough to pass trough school and a university. Thank you for reading about my crappy life.