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LIFE SUCKS

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Life Sucks

Posted by 344888 at December 17, 2011
Tags: 2011 December  Family  Juvenile problems

Well, I guess I am about to lay out my life to random strangers on the internet.

Here goes nothing.

I am a fifteen year old girl. I have three siblings, one older brother and sister, and a younger sister. My brother is the popular jock, my sister is popular beauty, and my younger sister is an adorable kid genius. I am constantly compared to my siblings and sometimes I think that I am adopted. I don't belong in my family. My dad is a heart doctor, so I am financially stable.

My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer three years ago. Every day she has is a blessing. Every hour is a savior. My whole family helps her out with everything. When it was first diagnosed, the doctor said she had ten years, tops. That's three years gone, seven left.

All my siblings have talents. I have nothing. I am okay in school, okay at sports and okay looking. I am not even close to how many friends my sister has.

I am already tired from writing this. It doesn't even feel like my story. When I found out my mom had cancer, I didn't talk for a month. Nothing came out, it was all balled up inside. It took me awhile before I finally started seeing that I had a problem. I started seeing a psychiatrist, who I was so scared of that I actually walked out of the session while she was talking. I started crying and just sat in a corner.

I can't write anymore...


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Comments:
By Tennessee at 19,Jan,12 14:10

I know exactly how you feel. I hope you always remember that and never feel alone. Our lives are different, but our feelings are the same. I was always the black sheep of my family. Still am. My father is a baptist preacher. My mother is two-faced toward everyone, including me. I got married in May. I dropped out of college when I was half a semester away from graduating with a degree in psychology (my lifelong dream). I did this because I met a girl who grew up in a shit hole life. Her mom was a crackhead (now, it's all pills) and her dad was busted making meth and lost all the kids (now, he's an alcoholic). I loved this girl but I wasn't sure just how "in love" with her I truly was. We had fun together and she could make me laugh, which is hard for anyone to do. I left school and got the first full time job I could find to try to give her and my stepdaughter a better life than either of us ever had. The thing is she won't work. She stays at home because she is pregnant and claims it hurts too much to stand for long periods of time. I make enough money for us to survive without her working so I let her stay home. Problem with that is she won't clean. She doesn't bathe the baby. She complains 24/7 about everything I do when Im just trying to take care of her and our kids. Her mom stayed at our house the other night and watched the baby while we went out to eat. I let her stay here because I know there are no drugs here and I don't want the baby to be around them. When we pull into our driveway, her boyfriend is here and she is in our bathroom snorting pills. I told my wife her mom isn't allowed over here again and guess who comes over when I'm at work? Her mom. I bust my ass working two jobs now, averaging over 75 hours a week just so my family can survive and I come home to dirty diapers laying in my bed or the living room floor or the kitchen counter. She'll change the baby but doesn't bother to throw the diapers away. I used to be single. I was going to college, living with my parents, had no bills and all my money was blown on booze and women. I partied a lot. I hooked up with 14 women before my wife. I had a lot of fun and I was happy with my life. But I gave it all up for her and this is how I get repaid. I'm miserable every second I'm at home. when i leave for work I can hear my step-daughter crying "dada dada" because she dont want me to go. I miss her and I want to spend time with her, but someone has to work to pay our bills and I know my lazy wife isn't going to. I work my ass off, come home and clean, go to bed and get up to do it all over again. I see my step-daughter enough to kiss her on the head and tell her daddy loves her on my way out the door each morning. My life sucks. I wish I could change it, but I love my baby girl more than anything and I don't want to live without her.
Sometimes we don't know what to do with our shitty lives, but we can always know we aren't the only one's going through tough times. I hope you find your way, just as I hope I find mine. I hope one day we can both find real happiness. Whatever it takes....
Best of luck..from a complete stranger, and a friend.


By anonymous at 19,Jan,12 23:01

I EAT BLACK SHEEP FOR BREAKFAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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