LIFE SUCKS

Beaten

I was molested as a child by one of my mothers relatives every morning before I went to school. I remember falling asleep every night with the fear of having to go to the babysitters the next day. I would think of ways to avoid the abuse and pray to God for help but none of that helped. I think that's when I lost a piece of my soul and faith. The rest has been chipped away through the years. I have hated myself for 20 years and there hasnt been a day when I havent wished for death. I believe life can great but not for me because I am too damaged and jaded. I have no desire to see what the future holds and there is nothing in life I want or look forward to. In the last couple of years I have become bitter and angry, so angry at the world. I am filled with hate..hate towards those who have hurt me and hate towards those who laugh and enjoy life while I drown in silence. There isnt a day when I don't choke on my hate and anger and I am soooo exhausted. I wish for death because I cannot bear another day filled with such ugly feelings.