So, yesterday my brother calls our mother at 12pm saying that he's going to the mall. He comes home after 5pm with a pierced eyebrow. My mother flips out and she is completely beside herself. He continually does things that upsets our mother and eventually she ends up crying. It's little things like not having dinner when she clearly leaves a plate of food out for him. So, everytime she gest upset I become angry because I hate seeing her this way. She has been abused by her own mother, my father and now her own son.
He has learnt to hide behind schizophrenia to not do anything and plays us, his family, against the doctors. When we sat with him in a meeting with the doctor, she clearly spelt out to him that he must communciate with us at home. This meeting was necessary in order to determine if he wants to come home with us after being in an abusive relationship with his ex-girlfriend. He was fine for about two days but after that she just clammed up. The doctors have clearly said that he can move on with his life, get married and have children, but everytime he comes home from work, he plops onto the bed and falls asleep.
My mother puts a lot of pressure on him to move on with his life. That time when he wanted to move in with his girlfriend, I sat down with like an adult and spoke to him in a calm, clear manner. I asked him if this is what he wants and if he'll be able to handle it. He replied yes to both. I drove him there myself to the shitty apartment complex and wished him well. No fighting, cursing, or disparaging remarks from myself or my mother. He refused to bring the girl for us to meet at home. Three months later we get called into a meeting at the doctors office asking if he can move back in with us.
Last night after a huge argument, he ran away from home. I am so tired of dealing with his shit. I punched him on his arm and gave him a good talking to. My mother then comes him and gives him two slaps on the face. At 31 years old, this is unneccessary. He can move on with his life, he can make progress. But he refuses to. Last weekend I spent time with him drawing up a budget and a career plan, with only input from him. I asked him nicely is this something you can commit to. He replied yes.
After three years of dealing with his impulsive behaviour, I had enough. Everytime he makes a mistake, we have to put our lives on hold. I refuse to do that anymore. I cant get married cos I'm emotionally drained. I dont have love to give to a woman cos I spent it all on him.
Before I used to feel bad about this because he's my brother and I loved him. Today, after three years, I see him as an obstacle to my happines. I can't be drained anymore. I simply can't. So yeah, life sucks, but it sure is a whole lot better without him. | |